Game Of Thrones Winner: “The Iron Throne”

And now our watch is ended. Winter has come and gone, and we have some winners. Well, today, we’ll talk about the winner of the final episode. Tomorrow we’ll get into what this all means in the grand scheme of a decade, a show, a lot of nerding out and well, it’s time to go home now.

So, who’s our last winner:

I think we have to give it to the one, the only, the fabulous:

Queen In The North Herself, Sansa Stark, long may she reign.

The Queen In The North

Sansa kept her people safe and free, and was crowned. She got to nope out of King’s Landing and do her thing.

I love Sansa. (I don’t know if y’all have been paying attention.) I’m very glad she got her happy Elsa ending and her cool crown and her badass wolf throne.

Runner up is Ghost, who is the goodest boy and deserves all of the snuggles and treats he wants. WHO’S A GOOD BOY?

Drogon is also a good boy. We’ll get to it.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

She’s the Queen In The North BITCHES. She should be Queen of Westeros but ya know…stories? I guess?

Arya Badass Watch

Arya is off to discover America. I bet in this world, America-equivalent has like Gryphons or something.

YOU SUNK ALL MY SHIPS

I wanted the tragic lovers ending for Dany and Jon. And Jaime and Missandei were already dead, so I appreciated that Brienne and Grey Worm ended their stories honoring their fallen lovers. But like, they all died. All of ’em.

Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure

King Bran The Broken. (Terrible name Tyrion, I mean really.) I understand the trajectory and hey! Tyrion and Samm invented democracy, (of the Greek variety, where the oligarchy pick the leaders, but it’s better than hereditary monarchy.) And to quote Mary, “well, they picked a white guy but at least he’s disabled.”

#NotAStark #NotABastard

Whatever, man. Jon’s back at the wall, and he pet Ghost who is a good boy. A very good boy.

Who’s a good boy?

Good Boy

The Dragon Has Three Heads

There’s a whole lotta nothing going on there. But I might come back around to something about the three remaining Starks being the heads of the dragon, but I think it’s more that Benioff and Weiss aren’t particularly interested in the prophecies, so that’s why we also never really followed up on Jon being The Prince That Was Promised. (It’s definitely Jon though.)

We did get Dany’s ending though, and tragic, as she died in Jon’s arms. (CALLED IT!) And then Drogon. Drogon melting the Iron Throne was a good piece of spectacle. But I found the most stirring part of the whole situation (for me) was Drogon nudging Dany’s body was lovely.

You guys, thanks for going on this journey with me. This started as a goof and became something that I really looked forward to each year as the show came back. I’m not going to make promises about the spin offs…if they ever happen.

So what now? I mean, immediately? I’m rewatching Star Wars. All of it. All 10 movies, all 3 cartoon shows. So that’s what Monday will be until December. So just wait until next week…when I’ll talk about The Phantom Menace. Am I super psyched to watch The Phantom Menace again? I am not. But I will do it for you, dear readers, and also for my own brain weirdness.

You Win Or You Die: Game Of Thrones: Seasons 6 & 7

There’s a moment in Act II of the brilliant musical Follies where the character of Buddy pokes his head out and exclaims, “Alright folks! We’re into the Follies now.” This moment is when Follies leaves behind any resemblance to a traditional book musical and becomes a series of sketches until it’s finale.

I think about this moment a lot when it comes to television, particularly long running TV, where shows evolve and become something different as they go along. Some people call this moment, “Jumping the shark,” but I’ve started thinking of it as “we’re into the follies.” For better or ill, shows push into the follies, and season 6 is when Game Of Thrones did it.

They had to let it happen, they had to change. (Another musical reference…sorry not sorry.) There were no more books to adapt, they had an outline and an ending but no more roadmap to go by. So they made it up, and while it feels a bit rushed and sketchy from time to time, I think they did an admirable job with making it up.

We get Daenerys out of Essos and to Westeros, Jon is The King In The North, the surviving Starks reunite and hold Winterfell, despite tensions between them.

But mainly, there’s “The Battle Of The Bastards,” watching this episode again was like breathing in air. Like “Blackwater,” I love this episode of TV so much, it takes my breath away. The technical aspects are stunning. Jon is at his most stupidly heroic. Sansa begins her journey towards being 1000% done with people who question her. The Deus Ex Machina of The Knights Of The Vale running in is heart churning.

There are moments of greatness in Season 7 too, the unleashing of the dragons in battle is incredible spectacle. But as much as I love the slide into home that we’re getting, it’s not as breathtakingly wonderful as those early seasons. The trick of the Follies is that you aren’t thinking about things, you don’t see the strings, just the flying.

Seasons 6 and 7 of Game of Thrones is magnificent as Folly, even if it’s not the great pop art that the first four seasons were. (My hatred of season 5 keeps it from entering into the conversation as either. It’s just so terrible.) Maybe season 8 will stick the landing in a way that redeems the quickness of the denoument, but that remains to be seen.

You guys, on Monday, we crown the first winner of the final season. I’m nervous and thrilled at the same time. I’m ready to go back to Westeros…winter is here. Let’s do it.

You Win Or You Die: Game Of Thrones Season 5

Season 5 of Game Of Thrones sucks y’all.

It’s really terrible and not in a fun way just in a, boy this show sure was great and this season sure sucks a lot way.

Littlefinger selling Sansa to the Boltons?

Sucks.

The subsequent rape of Sansa?

Sucks.

Maergary And Loras being stuck in prison most of the season.

Sucks.

No dragons for most of the season?

Sucks.

Dorne?

Sucks.

Melisandre and Stannis burning Shireen?

Rahahaheally Sucks!

The season isn’t without it’s bright spots, but generally and genuinely sucks. Those bright spots? “Hardhome” is pretty amazing. I actually enjoy most of the Mereen stuff, even though Martin has said it’s what’s caused him the most headaches writing wise. (I can also see that.) Sansa and Theon’s escape from Winterfell is both thrilling and cathartic. And I’m in the minority who likes Arya As No One. Season 5 is just a whole lot of place setting and it’s not particularly compelling to watch. Or frankly, to read. A Feast For Crows and A Dance With Dragons are largely considered the weakest books. I personally love Crows, because I ❤ Cersei, but it’s pretty messy.)

Anyway, this week we’ll cover seasons 6 & 7, which are just better than season 5 by virtue of being kind of bonkers, the good guys winning a lot, and making most of the country root for incest.

Game Of Thrones Winner: “The Spoils Of War”

Look, I realize there are many things that are great about this episode, and while much like last year’s season finale, part of me wants to declare us the winners again, because of Stark Sisters reunion and you know “Dracarys” and all. But I’m going to have to go with my usual thing here.

Arya Stark is our winner.

Arya

She got home, you guys, and she’s going to train with Brienne, and I don’t think that Little Finger is much longer for this world, thank god.

Overall, there’s just so much joy in the fact that ALL of the remaining Starks are in Winterfell, even if Bran is, you know, not, anymore, or whatever.

Runner up is Drogon. Because, ALWAYS. “Dracarys” will get me EVERY SINGLE TIME!

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

Both still alive for the moment. Missandei and Dany even talk about the GREATEST SEX IN THE HISTORY OF WESTEROS for a few lines. Also, Davos trying to become buddies with Missandei is the best thing in the world, and all I want is for everyone to be friends with Davos.

We will get to the other shipping thing in #NotAStark

Sansa’s Agency Watch

BAELISH NEEDS TO GO! But other than that, I’m not sure what her reaction is to Arya training with Brienne, she seems like, not on board, exactly. Which is weird. But better is the conversation between Bran, Sansa and Arya, where they discuss the dagger that Baelish gave Bran. Which again, we’ll get to below.

Arya Badass Watch

Arya. Will. Be. Training. With. Brienne. Also she has a Valerian Steel dagger. Time for our Wolf Girl to kill some White Walkers. And she’s back with her family, where she belongs.

Oh, and she’s like 1000% going to kill Little Finger, and probably very soon.

Bran Stark’s The Three Eyed Raven’s Excellent Adventure

Bran claims to not be Bran anymore, which is why he’s very blase about both Baelish giving him the dagger and Meera leaving. But like, also, MEERA DON’T GO! Stay and be badass with the other badass Northern Ladies.

#NotAStark

Jon takes Dany into a cave, and we all know what Jon does with the pretty ladies in caves…

OK, there’s no kissing “down there,” or any hanky panky, really, but why Tyrion and Varys don’t just shake the two of them and say, “IF YOU GET MARRIED IT WILL SOLVE ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS DUMB DUMBS” I can’t quite say. But in this cave, he shows her some paintings of the first men and the children of the forest fighting the army of the dead. She agrees to help him but only if he bends the knee.

Or you know, they could get married.

They are the new ones that I shout, “NOW KISS” at.

Oh, also he doesn’t kill Theon. Which I guess was nice of him.

Sam is A Ravenclaw (Or Possibly a Hufflepuff)

No Sam this week, but his asshole of a brother, Dickon, and his dumbshit father, both almost got fried by Drogon as Dany attacked the Lannister army, which was both amazing and satisfying.

How Long Til Jaime Snaps?

Well, if he survives sinking in his armor in a lake? I’m hoping that Tyrion talks him into the right side, but you know, it’s not super likely. I was nervous he was going to get killed in the battle, further putting his brother and sister at one another’s throats, but luckily Bronn saved him.

The Dragon Has Three Heads

Here’s something that I’ve been thinking about a lot. People are focusing A LOT on whether Dany or Jon are The Prince That Was Promised. But what isn’t being focused on, is that when Rhaegar was interpreting the prophecy, he noted, that “The Dragon Has Three Heads.” Also, remember this is The Song of Ice AND Fire, not Ice OR Fire, which means, that they’re both likely the Prince, and there’s a third. The third head of the dragon.

Likely candidates are Tyrion, who many theorize is also a secret Targaryen, (complicated, but basically, The Mad King was obsessed with Joanna Lannister, and may have raped her resulting in Tyrion. I hate this theory and don’t think it holds water, but whatever.) Jorah, who the Dragons have always known, and who recently “came back to life,” and oddly enough The Hound, who was reborn after his battle with Brienne and who The Lord of Light granted a vision a few episodes ago.

People I would like but who there isn’t really evidence for: Arya, Sansa (especially Sansa), Theon, Sam, Tormund, Bran.

Only three episodes left. (GULP!)

Game Of Thrones Winner: “The Rains Of Castamere”

Do you know how long I put off watching this episode again? A whole week of knowing I had to watch it and just not being about to do it. Also a year. I friggin waited a year to watch this season to avoid the Red Wedding.

Anyway, I have to pick a winner.

It’s Dany, I guess, because Daario, Jorah and Grey Worm take Yunkai for her. Good for you Dany.

Game-of-Thrones-Season-3-trailer-has-finally-arrived

Runner up goes to Roose Bolton, because he gets the best line, “The Lannisters send their regards.” And he’s married to Fat Walda, and we’re years away from her getting eaten by dogs, so there’s that.

This part of the show really is just no fun for anyone though.

Grey Worm and Missandei Watch

Grey Worm storms Yunkai with Jorah and Daario. Missandei is around but doesn’t do much.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

Sansa’s not in this episode, but she’s in King’s Landing, all, not being raped by Tyrion. So she’s in an OK space for the moment.

Arya Badass Watch

This is a tough episode for Arya. It’s not as bad as her chapter in the book, where I was sure that she was dead too. But still tough. She weathers it though. Hitting a dude in the face with a wagon wheel, and watching those Stark Men and then Grey Wind get killed. She’s a badass, end of story.

Robb Is A King And Kind Of Bad At It

Ah, so ends, Robb’s reign as the worst king ever. He has a plan to invade Casterly Rock, but him being a dumb butt and marrying Talisa all comes home to roost because his being a bad king gets everyone murdered at The Red Wedding.

Except Edmure who gets to marry the one hot Frey girl that Robb would have married if he weren’t such a colossal bone head.

Bran Starks Excellent Adventure

Bran learns how to Warg! He wargs into Hodor and then into Summer. He saves Jon from the Wildlings who are trying to kill him. He also sends Rickon to the Umbers. DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!!

Game Of Thrones Winner: “Second Sons”

I had this whole thing sewn up and then we got to the end of the episode and I realized that this was a different episode than I thought it was, and that’s why this week’s winner is Sam.

Samwell_Tarly

Sam killed a White Walker that was coming to steal Little Sam, who is not yet named Little Sam. But still, killed a White Walker, and he’s pretty much the only character to have done that at this point.

Runner up goes to Daario Naharis though, because he meets his new girlfriend. And this is the old, hotter Daario. But you know, whatever, either way, he’s totally up on the win list for that.

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

Missandei gets threatened with rape a bunch in this episode where we meet the Second Sons, and Grey Worm offers to cut out the Titan’s Bastard’s tongue. I mean, he does this for Dany, but I think he also does it a little bit for Missandei, because I mean, he loves her right?

Sansa’s Agency Watch

Sansa marries Tyrion. He also gives her a little bit of agency back, by you know, not raping her on her wedding night. I also noted a change from the books that I’d forgotten about. In the books, Sansa refuses to kneel at her wedding so Tyrion can put the cloak on her, and Joffrey winds up having Ser Dontos make himself into a footstool for Tyrion, but here, Sansa kneels. It’s an interesting change, that I think speaks to one of the big differences between book and show Sansa. Show Sansa is a lot softer.

Arya Badass Watch

Arya almost hits the Hound on the head with a rock. She changes her mind.

Robb Is A King And Kind Of Bad At It

No Robb this week. After next week, no Robb ever again. *SOB*

Game Of Thrones Winner: “The Bear And The Maiden Fair”

Easy enough winner this time. This week’s winner is Jaime Lannister!

Game_Of_Thrones_-_The_Bear_And_The_Maiden_Fair_-_Jamie__Ygritte

Jaime has a nice long talk with Qyburn and realizes that he needs to go back and save Brienne. He does, and they fight a bear together, and then he says he’s taking her back to King’s Landing and so begins the best maybe a romance, but not really in all of Game of Thrones.

Runner up goes to Dany, who’s just being a boss all over Yunkai. She has zero time to for any of their bullshit.

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

Missandei is doing very well in her stand next to Dany and recite titles role. Grey Worm is doing very well in his stand and look bad ass job. They are not in love yet.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

No agency for Sansa, Margaery does try to help her reframe her marriage to Tyrion. And also hits on her a little, I think? I’ve been spending too much time in feminist online forums I think.

Arya Bad Ass Watch

Arya has one badass moment in this episode. She states that The Red God is not her one God and when Thoros asks her who her god is, she says quietly, intensely, insanely badassly “DEATH.”

Chills.

Who Was Jaime A Dick To?

Jaime is a dick no more my friends. I’m going to have to get rid of this feature. I’m going to miss it a lot.

Robb Is A King And Kind of Bad At It

UGGGGHHHH. He’s going to the Twins, and he’s making Edmure marry a Frey. And it’s all SO DUMB. And then he’s all, having really hot sex with Talisa, and she tells him she’s pregnant and it’s just, so much NOOOOOOO!

Tywin Schools Joffrey

This is a new feature, because if I couldn’t talk about it in another forum, I would literally give Tywin every win. This time he basically tells Joffrey that he, Tywin is the one really in charge here. Joffrey is nothing. He’s garbage.

Game Of Thrones Winner: “And Now His Watch Has Ended”

Oh come on, like you don’t know how this one is going to go?

Dany won. Obviously.

Game-of-Thrones-Season-3-trailer-has-finally-arrived

“Dracarys”

The End.

Look, she only has one scene in this episode but it’s possibly her most iconic clothed moment in the whole show. When she turns and commands that dragon to burn the master, man is that good stuff. But then she also frees The Unsullied. It’s all so go.

Runner Up is a tie between Varys and Margaery, who both kind of kick all the asses this week. Margaery goes to the sept with Joffrey and talks about how important it is and how important history is, and that’s pretty prescient and sad knowing how she dies. Also she continues to befriend Sansa, which is SO GODDAMNED SMART. Varys, meanwhile, captures the sorcerer who cut him and explains his back story to Tyrion. It’s awesome.

Grey Worm And Missandei Watch

The Unsullied are free! Screw winter, Grey Worm is coming. Oh, also, when the rogue brothers take Craster’s Keep, Sam takes Gilly and Little Sam and they run. The first time.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

Margaery suggests for the first time that Sansa marry Loras, and this is the best thing that happens to Sansa, maybe ever. It’s a shame that nothing really comes of it. But this is nice time for her, the idea of marrying Loras and moving to High Garden. Damn.

Arya Badass Watch

Arya accuses The Hound of murdering Micah in the court of the brotherhood without banners. It’s awesome.

Robb Is A King And Kind of Bad At It

Ugh, no Robb this week. But Theon just realized that Ramsey has him trapped. We still don’t technically know who Ramsey is and UGH it’s just all so Ugh.

Who Was Jaime A Dick To

Well, his hand is gone now, so he’s starting to not be such a dick anymore. But I’m having trouble figuring out what to rename this feature, it will have something to do with Brienne.

Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure

Bran dreams that he’s climbing the Heart Tree and has a vision of Catelyn saying that he has to promise her not to climb anymore. Then she repeats the phrase, “promise me” over and over again. So that’s pretty important.

Game Of Thrones Winner: “The Winds Of Winter”

Winter is here friends and it’s time for us to name a winner for the season finale of season 6. This season has been incredible, a roller coaster ride of girl power fighting and righteous vengeance, and winners were often hard to call.

But I decided that this week, we’re all the winner.

10556470_890058001004657_3590562709554336497_n

To represent us all, here’s a picture of me and my friends as GOT characters at my 27th Birthday Party!

Guys, The Game Of Thrones was inside of us all along!

Oh and Jon Snow is actually the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and probably the rightful king of Westeros.

R+L = J is CANON MOTHERFUCKERS AND WE ALL WIN!

OK, I’m kind of kidding. I am naming an actual winner. After much internal debate, I’ve decided that Cersei Lannister won tonight’s Game of Thrones.

Cersei Lannister Season 6

I mean, I didn’t like it. It was brutal and my all time favorite character died in a horrible explosion. (RIP Maergary, I’ll always love you.) She had Franken-Mountain brutally torture Septa Unella, she caused the suicide of her youngest child.

But she is currently sitting on the Iron Throne. Probably not for long. Because Dany is coming and JON SNOW IS A MOTHER FUCKING TARGARYEN!!! But for the moment, she is the Queen of Westeros, sitting on the Iron Throne, she won.

Runner up is Arya, because, DID YOU SEE THAT????

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

They were barely in the episode. But they’re on their way to Westeros. In other Mereen relationship news, Dany dumped Daario, because she needs to marry someone from Westeros to hold the throne and can’t bring her lover. (PLEASE MARRY JON! MAKE ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE!)

Sansa’s Agency Watch

Sansa said no to Little Finger, she made Jon The King In The North (OH AND HE’S A TARGARYEN!) Sansa’s running things. I’m very excited about it. I’d rather she be Queen, but Tyrion was named as Daenerys’s Hand, and I’m pretty sure? they’re still married, so that could be a thing for her.

Arya Bad Ass Watch

Arya fed Walder Frey his sons in a pie and then slit his throat. Guys, Arya is the spirit of Lady Of Stoneheart. But oh, was it gorgeous and perfect and glorious. Revenge is Arya’s, and she will not be stopped.

King Tommen The Adorable

Dead. After his beloved wife was blown up (seriously, I knew it was coming and I’m still very upset by it),  Tommen took a dive off of the Red Keep. I’ll miss him a lot. But I think that his death is going to make Jaime snap.

Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure

R + L = J

Bran goes back to The Tower Of Joy and we see Ned and Lyanna, and she makes him promise to protect Jon, because “if Robert knew, he would kill him.” GUYS! We know now, for sure, that this is a thing. We’ve waited so long. And we know now. We know.

So now we wait. We wait until season 7, or until The Winds Of Winter comes out, whichever comes first.

I’m kidding it will be the show. The Winds Of Winter is never coming out, probably.

Moving Forward

I know I still have to go back and name winners for Season 3, and I’m going to start on that very soon. Probably in August. When I get a decent enough lead on One Tree Hill, I should be at a point where I can take the 10 hours out to watch it.

I’m also going to invest in the audiobooks. I want desperately to reread them, but the thought of actually rereading just seems horrendous. So, when I run out of podcasts at work, I’m going to listen to them. I’m still figuring out what that will look like here, but I’m excited.

And I’m working on a Sansa cosplay. I’m not leaving Westeros behind even a little. I never can at this time of year!

Cosplay Corner: You Win Or You Die

As we gear up for the finale of Game Of Thrones Season 6, I decided it would be fun to dedicate this week’s closet cosplays to Westeros. I don’t have a con ready cosplay for GOT, though I am working on getting my Maergary party dress in shape for it/Sansa’s Wolf dress to be a thing at all.

Closet Cosplays

Sansa Stark


After last week’s episode, it made absolutely no sense not to kick the week off with Sansa. I brought out the grey tunic that I wore for Eponine again, since grey is a Stark color. It also had some cool embroidery and embroidery is kind of Sansa’s thing. I also wore a pair black stretchy pants that land at the ankle, Audrey Hepburn style, which I think fits Sansa (being the consummate lady and all.) Add in my Ugg Flats, which are technically winter shoes, because of the North.

Jewelry was a tougher call for Sansa than any other before, but I landed on a long pendant with a tree of life on it, to represent the Heart Tree of Winterfell, and of all over the North really. Of which Sansa is now the Queen. The Queen In The North. BUT! I added a piece I’d forgotten about. I have a bracelet that’s twisted silver around purple stones, which, you may remember were the color of the stones in Sansa’s necklace/hairnet (depending on show or book version) that were used to poison Joffrey.

The Night’s Watch


Probably my favorite of the week. On Tuesday I took the black. Because of my retail background I have a surplus of black clothing and was easily able to put a bunch of it together into a very cute outfit.

The shirt is another H&M buy, and it actually a tunic, but I tucked it into the skirt, which is New York & Co, I added the thick belt from Kohl’s in order give a sort of “armor” look. I also wore Combat boots (obviously) and a necklace my cousin Catherine gave me for Christmas a few years ago that’s made out of chain mail! I also did a little bit of old school mall punk emo smokey eye, something I haven’t even attempted since high school!

Daenerys Targaryen


If I was going to get through hump day this week I needed an extra power boost. And I got it by dressing up as the true queen, The Breaker of Chains, The Unburnt, Mother of Dragons. Channeling Dany was surprisingly easy with my wardrobe. I wore a brown corduroy skirt and a cream crepe top (adorned with silver beading.) and I borrowed the Targaryen family crest necklace that Mary has. (Thanks sis! She was actually a big help in this whole project)

The tough part here was the hair. My short summer hair does not lend itself to intricate braiding, and certainly not first thing in the morning, when I’m in kind of a rush. I did figure out though, a cute way to handle it. I braided small strands on the underside of my hair and pinned them up. I was actually very happy with how it came out.

Maergary Tyrell


I wasn’t going to go through this week without channeling my absolute forever fave, and I put  a lot of thought in the Maergary outfit. I went with a black pencil skirt because I think that the kind of controlled sexuality of that kind of garment really fits her character. I added a blue crop top which has rose petal cut outs because she wears a lot of blue and Roses are the symbol of House Tyrell.

I wimped out on my hair because my Khaleesi hair sort of wore me out and also I overslept. But I obviously wore my Maergary necklace, and I also have a pair of earrings that Mary gave me that have flowers on them.

Missandei


This costume is a little bit different, rather than just trying to get across someone’s essence, I made a work appropriate version of one of Missandei’s actual outfits. Also, I was originally planning on doing something for Arya, but I couldn’t figure it out and Mary suggested that I try Missandei, who is very high on the favorite list!

Anyway, I wore my grey maxi dress, with my leather vest from my Black Canary costume over it, and gladiator sandals. I was trying to recreate this costume:

I think I did OK.

Overall I had a lot of fun with these outfits. I do think it’ll be a while before I do a full week of closet cosplays again though. It was a lot of work and organizing, which while I enjoyed it, is effort that could have been spent elsewhere.

Anyway, everyone enjoy the weekend, here’s hoping we get a Stark Sisters reunion on Sunday. (I doubt it, but we can all dream.)