Girl Crush: Zoe Saldana

If you’re unfamiliar with the term “girl crush” it basically means when a straight woman has a crush on another straight woman. There are three “levels” of crushes, a level 1 girl crush is someone you admire and would like to hang out with. My level 1 girl crushes are Gail Simmons from Top Chef and Tina Fey. A level 2 girl crush is a girl that you want to be best friends with. Some of my level 2 crushes include Megan McCain and Casey Wilson. A level 3 crush is a girl that you’d go gay for. My level 3 crushes are Emma Stone and Jessica Alba.

There are of course other women all along the way who fluctuate on the scale. But this morning as I looked at the newly released Guardian of The Galaxy “line up photo,” I realized that I’m super into Zoe Saldana. She’s somewhere between a 2 and 3.

So pretty!

So pretty!

I’ve talked about other women living a fangirl dream before, namely J.Law, but Saldana is just like, over the top involved in all things nerdy. There’s the most obvious one, which is that she’s Lieutenant Uhura in the new Star Trek. And she’s awesome at it. This is an Uhura who, while still wears a mini skirt, kicks ass, speaks Klingon, and makes Spock have feelings. (Maybe that last one isn’t super women’s lib-ish, but it’s fun none the less.) Then came Avatar. I’m not a huge fan of Avatar, because I saw and loved it the first time, when it was called Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest.

It's going to get the 90's all over you!

It’s going to get the 90’s all over you!

But she was still pretty great in it. And now she’s about to play Gamora.

Everything about this image makes me insanely happy!

Everything about this image makes me insanely happy!

I read and loved Guardians of The Galaxy launch issues about a month ago, and I can’t wait to see what the MCU plan for these characters. I’m actually deep into cosmic comics at the moment. Green Lantern has completely absorbed me, and today I read Vol. 2 of Red Hood and The Outlaws which takes Jason, Roy and Kori to her home planet to liberate it and of course, The Amory Wars, which I reread almost immediately after reading Guardians. (I actually think the film version of Amory will hinge a lot on Guardians’s success or failure. If it does well, if people like it, I think they’ll like Amory.) Back to the topic at hand, though. I kind of love that Saldana has just jumped head long into the whole Space/Alien/Nerd thing. She’s not afraid of it, she’s just going for it. She brags about speaking “two fictional languages,” and some of her non sci-fi credits include playing an avenging orphan in Columbiana and Batman’s ex girlfriend in Out of The Furnace. (I have not and probably will not see this movie.)

Also, she always talks about her mom on talk shows, which I have a feeling I would do.

So, Zoe, let’s hang out, get a glass of wine, or whatever.

“Two Kids Flirting in a Way that only a few people in the world understand”

Sometimes I do something so unfathomably fangirly, I surprise even myself.

I mentioned that I’ve been on a Bat-binge lately. I go on them from time to time, usually spurred on by something big happening in Bat-news, or just because I decide I want to watch Batman: The Animated Series again, or because one of the 90’s Batman movies is on TV, or well, I think you get the idea.

This time it was a combination of watching Justice League and Justice League: Unlimited on Netflix, watching Beware The Batman on Cartoon Network, and Batfleck.

It’s been a doozy, and it’s been a more intense (and expensive) trip than my usuals, which usually just consist of watching Batman Begins and the episodes of B:TAS  I love again.

So, things got kicked into high gear when the boy that I loved in high school got some awesome news. A year ago he got engaged, and now he’s about to make his Broadway debut. This is amazing, and I’m actually really excited for him.

Or like 98% of me is really excited for him,

The other 2%? The totally irrational, stuck at 17 part? The part was ROYALLY pissed off.

While the 98% of my brain was saying, “hey, this is cool. He’s a talented guy. And I bet his fiance is great. And we HAVEN’T SPOKEN TO HIM IN 7 YEARS, so I bet he’s not a huge shit head anymore, and maybe even his ridiculous 2% totally regrets stomping on our heart for four years,” the ridiculous 2% was screaming back, “NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOO!!!! He stomped on our heart for four years, and now that shit head is getting married and his dream is about to come true? And what the hell are we doing, missy? We’re still single! We’re working a dumb retail job (I actually love my job), and we’re wasting time with our blog, because no one takes us seriously anyway.”

I’m not proud of this part of my brain. But I’m more than a little grateful for it. Rather than doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself and drinking a lot, (How I would have handled this feeling a year ago) when I went on my break that day, I marched up 5th Avenue to the nearest Barnes and Noble, and I decided I was going to buy some Batman comics. (This was a way of contributing to people taking my blog seriously. I don’t know. I really wasn’t thinking clearly at the time.)

I really wanted to buy The Dark Knight Returns, because even though I’ve read it before, I wanted to read it again. But alas, it was sold out. So I went with Knightfall: Volume 1. I consumed it really quickly, in about a day and a half. This isn’t spectacularly quick for reading comics, but each volume of Knightfall is about the same size as a phone book. I went on Amazon that night and ordered the other two volumes.

I loved it. I loved Bane and his bizarre and totally bonkers fixation on destroying Batman. I loved Jean-Paul Valley and his crazy mind ghosts. I loved the father/son conflict between Dick and Bruce. I loved Dick becoming Batman, even if it was just for a minute, I loved Tim Drake’s hero worship of Dick.

I found my inner fangirl again. (Aless and Ivy get credit too. So much credit.)

Anyway, after Knightfall, I was at a bit of a loss. Where to go next, you know? But Barnes and Noble called again, and I responded by picking up Batgirl/Robin: Year One.

And it was when I finished that one, that I realized it. This wasn’t a Bat-binge at all. No. Bat-binges were more simple than this. Bat-binges ended in me watching Mask of The Phantasm and crying in my bed by myself at 2 in the morning. (Oh shut up. It’s a very emotional film.) This was something different. Because when I was picking B:TAS episodes to watch, I was picking ones like, “Robin’s Reckoning,” and “Shadow of The Bat,” and “Old Wounds.” The parts of Knightfall that I was most interested in? When Dick took over from Bruce as Batman. I was watching season 2 of Young Justice again.

Gone too soon.

Gone too soon.

I was getting annoyed at Beware The Batman, not because of it’s strange animation style, but because they had the nerve to introduce Barbara Gordon but it didn’t look like Dick Grayson was going to be within ten miles of the show. (They’ve established Katanna as Batman’s sidekick, which, awesome, but then leave Babs out of it too, ya know?)

This wasn’t about Justice League, or Ben Affleck. It was barely even about Batman.

It definitely wasn’t about a boy who broke my heart almost ten years ago.

This was about shipping.

This was my inner fangirl crying out for a couple to root for, and not finding it anywhere on TV lately, and knowing how it already felt about The Mortal Instruments. (Simon/Isabelle, FTW!) And bless her twisted little heart, she wanted it to be the police commissioner’s daughter and the orphaned acrobat.

Now, obviously, shipping Barabara/Dick isn’t a new thing. I’ve always kind of loved them, even before I knew that shipping was a thing. Watching reruns of the 60’s Batman, as a small child, I’m pretty sure that I thought, “Is Batgirl Robin’s girlfriend? She should be.” If Batman And Robin hadn’t completely butchered Batigrl’s origin story, (She’s Alfred’s niece? Or something? I remember she really hated Bruce though.) I’d say that Chris O’Donnell and Alicia Silverstone’s parts were the only defensible in the movie.

Also, anytime Clooney was in straight up "Bruce Wayne" mode.

Also, anytime Clooney was in straight up “Bruce Wayne” mode.

But seriously folks, this. Like the only good thing in the movie.

But seriously folks, this. Like the only good thing in the movie.

If this were high school, I’d go on livejournal and find a “Babs+Dick4eva!” group and make icons about them. If I had the time or inclination to write fanfiction anymore, I’d write it about them.

As it is, I’m just going to read that scene in Batgirl: Year One where he gives her her first Batcycle over and over again, and sigh happily.

Or that scene in Battle for The Cowl, where even Vicky effing Vale, (The investigative reporter who was boning Bruce Wayne for a while and still couldn’t figure out he was Batman.) realizes that they’re in love with each other.

Or the part of Batman and Robin: Batman Vs. Robin where Dick as Batman tells Kathy Kane (Batwoman) that he has a thing for redheaded crime fighters while trying to awkwardly flirt with her. (It’s not just Barbara, it’s also Starfire, but that’s not bring her into this conversation.)

Or the entire middle sections of Batgirl: The Darkest Mirror where they beat the crap out of each other, and call it “playing tag.”

Pictured: Vigilante Foreplay

Pictured: Vigilante Foreplay

Or the scene in Nightwing: Traps and Trapezes where Barbara walks in on Dick and his childhood circus friend (who he’s been boinking) and makes sarcastic comments at him. (I just finished this book, and I loved that part so much, I went back and reread it immediately.)

I think you get the point.

So I would like to welcome Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon to the my shipping party. Go to the bar and chat with Julie The Cat Gaffney and Dean Portman, they’ve been here a while and can show you around, be careful though because Serena Vanderwoodsen and Nate Archibald are having sex on that bar. Lucas Scott and Brooke Davis will probably want to take a break from Seth Cohen and Summer Roberts constant bickering, so they’ll be around too. Looking for someone to brood with? You’ve got Jess Mariano and Rory Gilmore to talk with, although Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater are also great for that. Or maybe you feel like avoiding your feelings and obvious attraction for a while? Emma Swann and Captain Hook are around somewhere, and that’s what they’re doing. And hey! If you miss your friends and family, there’s good news! Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle are on the roof, fighting and probably making out, and Oliver Queen and Dinah Lance are in the corner making fun of everyone.

Enjoy yourselves, I certainly will.

The World of Men: Wonder Woman in the DCAU

I've waited too long to talk about her, and I'm sorry

I’ve waited too long to talk about her, and I’m sorry

I’ve been watching Justice League on Netflix lately, and I have to give it a lot more credit than I ever really did before. I’m really enjoying it. But it still subscribes to one of the biggest problems I have with the DCAU, when it could have really used Wonder Woman as a way to remedy that problem.

I was talking to another fangirl/feminist friend once and said “The problem with women in Batman: The Animated Series is that they can be divided into two categories, evil, or in love with Batman.” And I get it! If I lived in that Universe, I would 100% be in love with Batman. (Hell, I live in this one and I sort of am…) But that there isn’t a single woman who isn’t a sociopath who isn’t? That doesn’t make any sense. Oh, wait, there’s the lady who was engaged to Harvey Dent. But she’s kind of it.

I’m not saying that there aren’t strong female characters in Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, and The New Batman Adventures, but all of these shows are very guilty of a casual form of misogyny. There are female charactersin abundance. Lois Lane, Barbara Gordon, Kara Zor-El, Selina Kyle, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Live Wire, Talia the list goes on. But in Batman in particular, these women are window dressing. Functional, of course, but mostly just there to look good. This isn’t entirely the fault of the creators of the DCAU, but they never did quite right by these ladies. I mentioned this when I talked about the times the shows crossed over, the episode “Girl’s Night Out” is particularly problematic for me. I enjoy it immensely, but hate the silliness and dismissiveness of the plot.

Barbara Gordon could have been the exception. Her relationship with Dick could have been written off as puppy love, and then moved on to her being an independent character. Or they get married, have babies and train those babies to be bad ass crime fighters. This is always the place my mind goes first. (Think of what a better show Batman Beyond would have been if every now and then Terry had to deal with Dick and Barbara’s way better trained progeny getting in his way!) But then Mystery of The Batwoman Batman Beyond had to come along and confirm her and Bruce’s romantic involvement and she loses a bit of her agency.

This is fine, when it’s Batgirl. I mean, it’s not great. It still pisses me off, and is really, really creepy. (To quote my friend John, “It’s not just the age difference, but that she dated his foster son. BOUNDARIES, Bruce.”) When it’s not fine is when a similar dynamic is created between Batman and Wonder Woman.

Oh you read that correctly. There’s a romance between Bruce and Diana that’s a very big part of Justice League Unlimited. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, necessarily to have members of the Justice League hook up. The original Justice League series had a serious relationship develop between Hawkgirl and Green Lantern. It was amazing, but that’s because it was presented as a developing relationship between two equals.

Wonder Woman and Batman’s relationship is more like, “Ah! She has to be with someone! Heaven forbid we have a SINGLE WOMAN portrayed here! Crap, we already made her normal boyfriend, Steve Trevors a WWII spy when they went back in time and now he’s mega old. We can’t break up Lois and Clark, not this far along in their story, and we’ve shown her being disgusted with Flash. I know! Bruce Wayne is a big whore, she can hook up with him!”

It’s really insulting to both characters but also does a huge disservice to Diana. This version of Bruce is kind of used to pushing these sorts of thing aside for the greater good. (See, Gordon, Barbara and Lane, Lois) So when he blows her off and then is sad about it, it’s a little bit stupid but at least characteristic. When she follows after him pouting like Bella Swann and whines about how he doesn’t have legitimate reason to not be with her, it’s annoying and completely out of character.

I’m not saying that it doesn’t make for some great moments. The episode “This Little Piggy” is great and it’s entirely about this relationship. When they all get turned into eight year olds in “Kids Stuff” (My new all time favorite episode of anything.) and L’il Diana is terrible at hiding her crush and L’il John Stewart can’t stop teasing L’il Bruce about it, I nearly wet myself. Also, L’il Clark was not aware there was anything happening. Poor Clark. It must be hard to be in a committed relationship and hang around with those guys.

Look how cute they are!

Look how cute they are!

But those fun moments don’t make up for the arbitrary feeling the relationship has, and the fact that it weakens Diana’s character a lot.

Before I got to Unlimited, I had every intention of being excited that for once we had a main female character in this universe who wasn’t evil or in love with Batman.

There is of course the episode “Maid of Honor,” where it’s made very clear that Diana is into another woman.

So from a feminist perspective that’s pretty cool. But talking about how Wonder Woman may or may not be a lesbian is a topic for another post.

And even when she’s pouting because Batman doesn’t love her, she still kicks a whole lot of ass.

Kind of all the asses.

She kind of kicks all the asses.

Skews younger…with juries and such

So, Arrested Development is back on Netflix. This is exciting for many reasons, not the least of which is getting to see Alia Shawkat in stuff again. (Loved her since State of Grace )

But this seems as good a time as any to get in to one of my weirder obsessions, which I’ve hinted at occasionally in the past.

It’s time to talk about Scott Baio.

Sometimes the early teen heart wants what it wants

Sometimes the early teen heart just wants what it wants

Now, if you are unfamiliar with Mr. Baio’s work, I’d like to know what in the hell you did with your childhood, because you were clearly not watching Happy Days reruns and that makes me sad for you.

Anyway, on Happy Days, he played Chachi, who was the young and slightly less smooth cousin of Fonzie.

If you don’t know who Fonzie is you should probably just jump off of a bridge.

Anyway, I loved him. Not in a, “this is an amusing character way,” I actually loved him. In a creepy fangirl download pictures and have bizarre fantasies about him way. This lasted until I was about fourteen. Of course by then Charles in Charge had moved to Nick at Nite, and it was hard to escape. It was a fun little joke for a while, and everyone in my life sort of let it go.

Katie still brings it up from time to time, but only because we bonded over it when we first met. (Her thing was for Ron Howard…)

But regardless it was one of those “there’s a little truth to every just kidding” situations. I did, and still kind of do, find the young Scott Baio very attractive. Despite the hair…or possibly because of it. Whatever.

Then when I was in college along came Arrested Development…I mean, it was already off the air for a few years when I watched it, but I loved the whole “Bob Loblaw” bit. Baio was playing the Bluth family’s new lawyer, an ambulance chaser named Bob Loblaw, replacing their old lawyer, Barry Zuckercorn, played by Henry Winkler.

If you don’t know who Henry Winkler is, please go climb back under your rock now, and watch some Happy Days reruns. Seriously.

This is him. He's the Fonz.

This is him. He’s the Fonz.

 

I also loved the line to clearly remind people of who they were, “This is not the first time I’ve replaced Barry Zuckercorn. I can do everything he can do, and skew younger. With juries and such.”

Either way, how exciting was it when in Episode 4 of the new Netflix season when Bob Loblaw was defending Barry Zuckercorn, and Barry actually shouted “Chachi!” at one point?

No? That was just me who was excited about that, then.

Lies Musical Theatre Told Me Part 4: Light My Candle

It’s the triumphant return of Lies Musical Theatre Told Me!

This lie is a little bit different than the others, like the Patti Lupone one, it’s a culture thing, and it’s also the most fangirly of all of them:

Adam Pascal is a major heartthrob

You know who Adam Pascal is even if you don’t know who Adam Pascal is. Chances are you’ve seen School of Rock. You know the douchebag who kicks Jack Black out of his band in the beginning and then beats the kids at Battle of The Bands at the end? That’s Adam.

Of course if you’re a theatre geek in your 20’s, and you are attracted to men, you know more about Adam. You know that he is the angry sensitive bohemian HIV positive ex heroin addict singer songwriter we all wanted to fix. You know know that he’s the hard hearted Egyptian soldier/explorer who ends up choosing love over everything, even his life. He’s the selfish prick who alienates the woman he loves because of his own prejudices.

Also, if you’re anything like me, my sister and most of my friends you melt everytime you hear him hit the high notes.

You know the moments I’m talking about, when Adam’s voice goes up in it’s gorgeous gravelly tones and it’s raw and powerful.

“Let it be boys!”

“And why did I tell her this? A stranger I just met? I woman who I hardly know at all and will forget!”

“Go away! Just get out! Be someone else’s parasite!”

I’ve been very lucky, in that I’ve seen Adam in his two most iconic roles, I saw him as Radames in Aida when he went back to close the show. It was amazing. I still remember sitting in the balcony with my friend Ali, my sister Mary and Ali’s sister Jess, and all four of us literally screaming like Beatles fans when he took off his shirt and ordered Aida to bathe  him.

Also later, this happens. It's wonderful

Also later, this happens. It’s wonderful

My brother was also there. He did not squeal, but he did make fun of us a lot. So that’s almost the same.

Then I saw him as Roger, when for six glorious weeks he and Anthony Rapp (the original Mark) went back to Rent on Broadway. If you’re the kind of person who’s attracted to singers, you haven’t known what that really means until you’ve watched these two men wail out “What You Own” or listened to Adam come in on “Another Day.” It’s phenomenal.

Beautiful, Beautiful Angst!

Beautiful, Beautiful Angst!

It was incredible. I was even more in love.

I also wanted him to light my candle, if you know what I’m saying. (I had to, I’m sorry, it’s a bad joke. I couldn’t come up with anything regarding having the best ass below 14th street or handcuffs, I tried.)

Then came Chess. I’d loved the music from Chess for a long time. Then one day, I stumbled upon a full YouTube video of a London concert version starring Idina Menzel, Josh Groban and Adam Pascal! It was wonderful, I watched it like a million times. Adam is sexy as hell and can sing like a mofo, but he’s not the best actor, generally his performance range from angry to sad to slightly amused. Next to Josh Groban, he looked like Laurence Olivier, and the contrasting tones of their voices were incredible. (Josh’s soaring opera vocals clash beautifully with Adam’s rough rock and roll sounds.)

Adam in a white suit! WHITE SUIT!

Adam in a white suit! Don’t you just melt?

I didn’t see him in Memphis and I still hate myself for it. A few weeks ago, Mary and I were talking about how she wants to watch Rent with her boyfriend (He also played Roger in the movie version), and somehow the entire conversation devolved in to us talking about how sexy he was.

Mary insists she doesn’t “squee” but I was there that night we saw Aida, there was definite squeeing happening. It was my first real full on fangirl moment.

When I reached out to friends to see if they had any Adam stories to share, my friend Matt answered with simply, “I met him sophomore year. We bro’ed out. I shit you not.” You understand, how important that caveat is? Also, Matt just became like, ten times more attractive to me. (Just kidding, kind of…)

The best thing, though, from a theatre geek perspective, is that Adam is our guy. He’s never really gone mainstream, so we’ve never had to share him. The mainstream took and shattered our other heart throbs, poor Matt Morrison became the biggest joke of the joke that is Glee, Patrick Wilson has been knocking on the mainstream door for so long that you can’t help but pity him. But not Adam Pascal. Adam is ours, even if most of the world doesn’t know who he is.

So he’s not a major heartthrob, that was a lie that musical theatre told us. But he’s our heartthrob, and that’s the most important part.

The Best Crime Fighting Duo Of All Time

No I don’t mean Batman and Robin, let’s not be obvious in our decisions here. See, the new season of Southland started this week. I love Southland. I love everything about it. I love the characters, complex and in the shades of grey where they are. I love the actors, all of whom kick serious ass. I love Ben McKenzie.

Ryan Atwood, always Ryan Atwood

Ryan Atwood, always Ryan Atwood

But this season. Ohhh, boy, I am so excited for this season, which I didn’t even realizes was happening, let alone did I realize the greatest thing in the history of gritty cop dramas/former prime time teenage soap opera stars/crime fighting in history.

Chad Michael Murray is now enlisted in the fictional LAPD.

In case you’re not a woman between the ages of 18 and 30 and you don’t understand the significance of this, this means that Lucas Scott from One Tree Hill and Ryan Atwood from The OC are FIGHTING CRIME TOGETHER!

Of course Ben Sherman isn’t Ryan, and Dave Mendoza isn’t Lucas, but how great would it be if they were? There is of course already a precident for this. In The OC, Seth Cohen turns all of his friends in to comic book characters. Ryan was Kid Chino, with an Atomic Armband and Fist of Fury.

Remember  God, The OC was the best.

Remember Atomic County? God, The OC was the best.

And Lucas Scott saved the love of his life from a school shooting and then solved his Uncle Keith’s murder by talking to his ghost and listening to emo with Peyton.

 One Tree Hill  was also great, but  consistently lamer

One Tree Hill was also great, but consistently lamer

So here’s the premise. Haunted by the death of Marissa Cooper (blech) aka Cosmo Girl, Kid Chino runs from Atomic County straight to North Carolina, where he saves a young girl from an attack by a gang of angsty mainstream pop punks. She thanks him and tells him her name is Sawyer Scott, and brings him home to meet her parents. Kid Chino sighs as The Cure or The Smiths or some other cliche “off beat” 80’s band plays from a turntable in Sawyer’s living room. “Do you have any Journey?” He asks, as Lucas, Sawyer’s father comes in to thank him.

Because Lucas is a stand up guy he and Ryan go get a drink and talk about their lives. Lucas explains that his wife, Peyton, Sawyer’s mother recently disappeared. There was a note supposedly written by Peyton saying she that she left because of something, something, I’ll always love you, but I have to go something, something, emo song. Lucas doesn’t buy it and thinks that his father Dan Scott, had something to do with it.

Not wanting Lucas to suffer the same fate he has, being forced to couple up with a replacement cast member, Ryan agrees to work with him to find Peyton.

They do, eventually, with the help of Kid Chino’s fellow team mates, The Ironist (Seth Cohen) and Little Miss Vixen (Summer Roberts), and Lucas’s family, Nathan and Haley Scott. (Jamie and Sawyer Scott may be inspired to create a Teen Titans style spin off group by their parent’s heroics…) They’re all reunited and hang out in a club that mysteriously allows teenagers in every night and watch an awesome band.

Or of course, Chad could play a scumbag cop and Ben could play a hero cop. Which is what appears to be happening.

Look John Wells, I’m just saying if you really want girls my age to love Southland this much go for the whole enchilada. Cast Milo Ventimiglia as I dunno, an overly earnest DA with a dark streak or something, or just put him in a cop uniform too, and have Lucas Scott, Ryan Atwood and Jess Mariano on the force.

Let the brooding commence!

I want to see a Han Solo movie, but not for the reason you think

OK, a couple of weeks ago I professed my faith in JJ Abrams and his taking over the Star Wars franchise. And before that I talked about my fanboy friends and how happy they were about Disney buying Lucasfilm (which devolved in to an argument about theme park rights…)

Look, I love Disney. And pretty much, I trust them when it comes to franchises. They clearly know what they’re doing. But, I’m not sure I love the direction we’re hearing about for Star Wars, which will be exploring side tracks in the universe, rather than continuing the saga of the Skywalker family.

Star Wars isn’t Star Trek, an elaborate universe built with many stories to tell. It is built as a coherent (sort of) saga of one man’s fall from grace and his son’s attempts to redeem him. (In high school, I wrote a paper about Luke Skywalker and how he could be interpreted as an image of Christ The Redeemer. I got a 98, points taken off because I didn’t exactly follow the assignment, which was to take a character from one movie, not three.) But, I also was one of those people who said, “A movie based on a Disney ride? Pff! That’ll never work!”

I was wrong. I was  so wrong

I was wrong. I was so wrong

So who knows? Maybe a movie about Yoda’s adventures as a Jedi Knight will be great. And a coming of age tale about a young smuggler/gambler/scoundrel and his wookie friend, could kick serious ass. I’m talking of course about the rumor that might make the internet explode. That we’re going to see a prequel about the exploits of Young Han Solo.

Now please don’t get me wrong, I love Han Solo.

This Guy!

I think I have made this clear

And seeing more of him would be great. I mean, if by more of him, you mean a in his late twenties Harrison Ford. Not someone else approximating that. Not an old Harrison Ford trying to recapture that magnificent feeling.

We all remember how well that turned out last time, don't we?

We all remember how well that turned out last time, don’t we?

But, I will be joining the rest of the internet in speculating about this movie. Because, really, I can’t not speculate about this movie. It’s like I’m physically unable. Moviefone has made a list of the actors they would like to see considered to play Han. It’s a decent list, and includes Logan Lerman.

I would watch Percy Jackson do anything!

I would watch Percy Jackson do anything!

Dave Franco

My attraction to Dave Franco is strong. You probably don't know who he is if you didn't watch the last season of Scrubs which statistically speaking you didn't

My attraction to Dave Franco is strong. You probably don’t know who he is if you didn’t watch the last season of Scrubs which statistically speaking you didn’t

and the guy who plays Jon Snow on Game of Thrones.

I actually think this would be great casting, but it would make my friend Adam way too happy, so I'm opposed to it.

I actually think this would be great casting, but it would make my guy friends from high school way too happy, so I’m opposed to it on principle.

I’m going to make another list. Plenty of people are going to be talking about who should play Han. I’m going to talk about who should play Lando Calrisian. The list is one name long and that name is Donald Glover.

Lando should 100% be an integral part of this movie, because as far as characters go, he’s kind of the best. Also we know that he and Han were good friends until Han won the Millenium Falcon off of him in a card game. Why? Because badass space pirates roll that way.

He probably not bet his ship. Therefore he is not as badass as Lando. (Sorry Whedonites. I do still love him)

He probably would not bet his ship. Therefore he is not as badass as Lando. (Sorry Whedonites. I do still love him)

And it should be Glover, well, just because it should be. Glover bares a passing resemblence to Billy D. Williams, (in that he is a handsome African American Man) has astonishingly fantastic geek cred (Community! New season started yesterday. And there was much rejoicing!) and has charisma to burn (watch his stand up, listen to his rap, or watch his guest spots on Girls.) Also, this seems infinitely more likely than him playing Peter Parker, which I was also all about (I didn’t think it was ever going to actually happen, but it still would have been cool!) but just as likely to get him to the next level of famous-ness.

Look at that smile! Don't you want some of that in your crappy Star Wars spin off?

Look at that smile! Don’t you want some of that in your crappy Star Wars spin off?

Also, come on, don’t we all want to see the in-jokes this would produce on Community?

Tennant Vs. Smith: My Easiest Dilemma

Day 5 of Doctor Who Week!

When I first started this blog, I had every intention of doing more “argument” style pieces. Maybe I’ll recommit to that…anyway. Today we’re back to The Doctor!

If you’re talking about Doctor Who at all, generally there is going to be a comparison of Doctors. Who do you like better, who do you actually think was superior that kind of thing. When it comes to the relaunch people tend to ignore Christopher Eccleston.

I’m sorry sir. I do respect you for teaching Peter Petrelli how to use his powers on Heroes though!

And the attention goes right to Doctors 10 and 11, David Tennant and Matt Smith. And so that’s where we are now. I will now dissect the merits of each Doctor and explain to you why David Tennant is just plain better.

Oops, kind of blew my ending there.

Winner!

Anyway, here’s why I think so. I appreciate Matt Smith’s take on the Doctor, but I also think that it’s deeply informed by David Tennant’s. Also, I don’t quite understand Smith’s episodes. I’m all for long form story telling in television. (I ❤ Buffy, We have to go back, etc.) But I also tend to get bored when that long form gets too hard to follow. And The Opening of The Pandorica and The Coming of the Silence were really hard to follow.

Also, what I love about The Doctor is the sort of everyday-ness of his travels. Yes, there are adventures, but it’s just the life, you know. Of course Tennant’s doctor had epic stories to follow. The face of Boe tells him early in season 3 that “you are not alone,” hinting at the coming of The Master. But generally, it’s more episodic. I know I’ve talked about how I don’t love “Monster of The Week” type shows, but that’s only when the monsters are stupid. When the monsters are great, like on Doctor Who, then I like it.

Also, I love the idea of David Tennant, the biggest Doctor Who fanboy ever, getting to be the Doctor. The man practically dedicated his life to Doctor Who fandom, which of course makes him the perfect casting decision. This would be like your friend that gets drunk and speaks in Christian Bale’s Batman voice getting to replace him in the inevitable reboot. Except for that this friend is actually really talented. (I may or may not be this friend among my friends…)

I do like Matt Smith, and I certainly admire his look.

Bow Ties Are Cool!

But I just love David Tennant. He wins.

Captain Jack Will Get You By Tonight

It was announced yesterday that John Barrowman, Captain Jack Harkness from Doctor Who and Torchwood is going to have a supporting role in the new CW series Arrow. 

In case you didn’t know, Arrow is going to be a new show about The Green Arrow, a lesser known DC Superhero. And if you’re me, and you think of Green Arrow as “That guy on Smallville who Lois had sex with before she and Clark got it together” or “Batman, but with a bow and arrow,” or even, “who?” then you probably didn’t care much about this show. (Come to think of it, I think he ended up with Chloe in the end of Smallville, which is weird…but the end of Smallville was so incomprehensible. I stopped watching when they killed off Jimmy “But Not Really Jimmy Olsen” Olsen.)

But now, now I care. And not just because I love Captain Jack.

Although I do love him…a lot.

But because I love John Barrowman. I love that he’s a gay action hero, I love that he’s a musical theatre star, I love that he tells people he got rejected from playing Will on Will & Grace because he was reading the role, “too straight.” (There’s a special irony there, because the role eventually went to Eric McCormack, who is straight.) I love searching him on YouTube and finding songs I didn’t know he’d sung. (The time I found him singing “Sunset Boulevard” from Sunset Boulevard was one of the greatest moments of my life.) I love that he and Bill Pullman were the only good things about Torchwood: Miracle Day (Pullman because he was terrifying and him because he was just awesome.)  I love the Utopia storyline of Doctor Who.

While the fact that he’s going to be on Arrow means that he probably won’t be boarding the TARDIS any time again soon (bummer, I thought with a new companion we’d see Captain Jack again soon…) I am psyched to see another facet of this remarkable performer. And to be honest, I kind of like that I have a reason to care about Arrow. 

Although, I still don’t care that much. And I’d still rather see him back on Doctor Who. I mean, seriously, have you watched those Utopia episodes? They’re awesome!  If you haven’t, and you have Netflix, you should watch them. Actually, you should watch all of the “new” Doctor Who episodes…why haven’t you?

Anyway, I’ve asked my friend John to tell me more about Green Arrow, so hopefully I can report with more authority once the show actually starts…but for now, YAY JOHN BARROWMAN!