The 007 Project: The Man With The Golden Gun

Previously On The 007 Project: We’ve got a new bond in Roger Moore, and also so much racism.

Who’s Our Bond?

Roger Moore is going to be around for a while. I really like him in The Man With The Golden Gun, where he seems to be genuinely perturbed to be in a James Bond movie. He’s had it up to here with the villain, with not getting to have sex with the girl because of shenanigans, with the “we’re not so different, you and I” dynamic, and it makes for a really delightful performances.

What’s The Plot?

A boat arrives at Fantasy Island…OK, it isn’t Fantasy Island, but Herve Villechaize is there, playing not Tatoo but Nick Nack, who works with notorious assassin Francisco Scaramanga, played by Christopher Lee! The man on the boat enters into a protracted duel with Scaramanga and we see that Scaramanga is obsessed with killing James Bond.

M tells James Bond he is welcome to lay low while they try to catch Scaramanga but Bond refuses. They track the assassin to Hong Kong where Bond rendezvous with Mary Goodnight, who keeps getting quite frustrated when they can’t hook up and Bond keeps going off with other women for mission purposes.

Lady, you are CRUSHING ON 007, get it together re: Him being a big whore. Anyway, they’re after a formula that would allow solar power to function better than fossil fuels. YAYYY! A murdered scientist leads the team from Hong Kong to Bangkok, and Scaramanga’s girlfriend offers to get the formulafor Bond, then they have sex, Goodnight is very put out. There’s an extended carchase and that fucking sheriff from Louisiana shows up and I very nearly throw a beer bottle at my television set.

Anyway this all leads to Goodnight and Bond on Scaramanca’s island a duel between the assassins. Bond wins! But stupid Goodnight, destorys the solar fuel.

Women, am I right? Anyway, then they have sex on a boat, and the movie ends. Hooray!

I’m Adressing The Problematic

There’s some lame orientalism going her, and conflating of far east cultures into one, but as with the other eastern set flicks, pretty ok generally.

Tell Me About The Girl

Britt Ekland plays Mary Goodnight who might be the most frustrating character in any movie I’ve liked as much as this one. She’s whiny, clumsy and bad at her job. Super lame, do not like.

The Song Is The Thing

Lulu performs “The Man With The Golden Gun,” and it is super corny and not particularly memorable.

Overall Thoughts

Subtracting the too long chase scenes and providing vaguely better writing for Goodnight would have made this a better movie, but I’m always happy to see Christopher Lee and I really do think Roger Moore is excellent in this one.

Next week, romance is back on the table with The Spy Who Loves Me

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