Fangirl Loves Star Wars: The Mandalorian: “Chapter 16: The Rescue”

*This is blog post is a recap of The Mandalorian: Chapter 16, thus by it’s nature contains spoilers. I try very hard not spoil big stuff prematurely but it’s been 3 days and this is a RECAP.*

I’m often at a loss for explaining to people how much and what it is I love about Star Wars. And then I watch something like this episode of The Mandalorian and my breath catches in my chest, and my heart beats a little more quickly than usual, and I remember that it isn’t really something I can explain.

I love these stories and this world so much.

I will never not be psyched when that green light saber sparks, and the hood of that black robe is thrown back and Luke Skywalker is here to rescue us.

Star Wars fandom can be difficult, especially when it comes to it’s first family. There’s a sharp divide between those who would rather the Skywalkers be left in the past and those who are always happy to see them show up. (Guess which one I am?). Luke showing up in his X-Wing to rescue Mando, Bo-Katan, Boba Fett, Fennec Shand and Cara Dune (FUCK GINA CARRANO) and whisk Grogu (who though a baby is REMEMBER THE SAME AGE AS A CERTAIN ANAKIN SKYWALKER WOULD HAVE BEEN) away to Jedi school, was thrilling to me.

It was, also, not the only thrill of the episode. Mando, Boba, Fennec and Cara show up to a Cantina to recruit Bo-Katan and her friend who’s name I can’t remember to take on Moff Gideon, retrieve the Dark Saber and rescue Grogu. After some very rude anti clone remarks from Bo towards Boba, they all get it together, and then get aboard Gideon’s cruiser, fight a bunch of Dark Troopers and the Mando finds Gideon, standing over Grogu with the dark saber. After escorting the Moff to the rest of the group, Gideon excitedly explains that in order for Bo to claim the Dark Saber she must defeat Mando in combat, also a bunch more Dark Troopers show up, and I just want Bo to call them a bunch of fracking toasters but she doesn’t.

And just as all hope seems lost, an X-Wing lands on deck and cloaked figure emerges. Grogu watches on monitors, rapt, as The Last Jedi comes to bring him home. When Luke and R2-D2 enter, Grogu and Din have an emotional goodbye, Din removing his helmet so his son can see and touch his face as they part. Pedro Pascal is wonderful in this scene, the heartbreak clear on his face as the tears stream down his cheeks. He’s doing the right thing, but it’s not easy.

After this touching goodbye, the credits roll, and AFTER the credits, we see two suns, hazy and a familiar palace. Bib Fortuna sits upon the throne of Jabba The Hutt, and Fennec Shand walks in, shoot his guards, frees a Twi’Lek slave girl and Boba saunters in behind her, Fortuna begs for his life but Boba does not spare him and sits his ass on that throne. Cut to black and the words, “The Book of Boba Fett, December 2021.”

SO! What does this mean for us, here, at The Fangirl’s Dilemma?

I’m not sure. There’s a lot of Star Wars coming in the next few years. I’m very excited about all of it. We’ve also got Wandavision in January, which will probably take this slot. I also SWEAR I WILL EVENTUALLY WATCH Resistance: Season 2. Someday. I guess.

But for now, May The Force Be With You.

The 007 Project: The Spy Who Loved Me

Peviously On The 007 Project: I dig Roger Moore. Bond went to Hong Kong and learned Kung Fu.

Sorry I’m late this week! I got a new job! YAY!!!!! But I realized I hadn’t gotten this post done on Wednesday morning and I was already getting dressed to go to said new job so, this one is a bit rushed and late! Sorry again.

Who’s Our Bond?

Still Moore for the next few movies. I’m enjoying each Bond’s shot at a romance, if you’re Lazenby it’s your only shot, and so far they have been my favorites. Moore does well.

What’s The Plot?

When both a British and Soviet submarine disappear, Bond is called in on the British side to find it, on the Russian side Anya Amasova is brought in. They team up after some antagonistic flirting, and chase Jaws across Egypt. They also do my favorite James Bond thing during this section. (I have favorite things in this series now! Aren’t you excited, I definitely am) They hook up on a boat! (She also mentions Tracey and he shuts her down with the most withering of withering British glares)

They learn that the submarines were taken by a tycoon named, Not Blofeld For Rights Reasons. He wants to start society over underwater. Whatever, Anya and Bond foil him. But more importantly she learns he was involved in the death of the love of her life in a ski chase at the begining of the movie. Will she forgive him?

She does! Hooray

I’m Adressing The Problematic

I mean, it’s a depiction of the Middle East in the 80’s. Nothing glaring, but it’s not you know, perfect.

Tell Me About The Girl

Barbara Bach plays Anya. She’s sexy, smart and badass, not to mention she’s got her own axe to grind, ie getting revenge for her dead lover. I like her a lot. I like this movie a lot

The Song Is The Thing

The song is a Carly Simon song called “Nobody Does It Better” which I didn’t realize even was a Bond song, so, it’s not a great one.

Overall Thoughts

I liked this one! I like this plot construction, but the lack of Blofeld in the role that is obviously supposed to be Blofeld delfates things. The Skiing scenes are cool and I like Anya. I still dig Roger Moore.

Next week we go to the Moon, but not really with Moonraker, and in some good, I don’t have to do as much planning news, a bunch of the movies just dropped on Peacock! YAY!!!!!

Fangirl Loves Star Wars: The Mandalorian: “Chapter 15: The Believer”

There’s a lot going on here, but I’m gonna start with this, Bill Burr is excellent in this episode and I continue to be blown away by the level of the incredible supporting cast on this show. They jump over the extremely high bars they set for themselves.

While our appreciation of Burr did lead to some friction in the group text this week, (Jess continued to type, “GO SOX!” at every possible instance. She is from Rhode Island and must be forgiven, and I responded by saying, “I love Bill Burr, but I SPIT ON THE SOX!”) Anyway, let’s get to the episode, which was very cool.

Cara Dune (Obligatory Fuck Gina Carano!), Fennec, Boba and Mando go to a prison planet to recruit Mayfeld (Burr) to their opperation to track down Moff Gideon and free poor little Grogu from his nefarious clutches. Mayfeld is a delightful breath of sarcastic human fresh air in our steely group of outsides and I really can’t express deeply enough how much I really like the work Burr is doing here. They head to Morak (we as a group watch with Subtitles so I knew they said “Morak” not “Morag” which is where the Power Stone was hidden in the MCU in Guardians of The Galaxy but I made the joke anyway.) and discover that an Imperial remnant is mining an explosive substance there to mount an attack, much like Operation Cinder (from Star Wars: Battlefront) where they burned up a whole planet and killed a bunch of Storm Troopers to boot.

Mayfeld is uh, not thrilled about this, but manages to keep his cool while Mando goes to a transmitter to get the info he needs on Grogu. He also takes off his helmet for a good 15 minutes! He looks terribly uncomfortable but I am always happy to see Pedro Pascal’s beautiful face and the fact that he’s willing to bend the code for his magic baby son is huge character growth. While discussing the facility and Operation Cinder with the man who it turns out was Mayfeld’s superior, (in a tour de force scene from Burr) he turns his blaster on the facility which the gang then blows up.

After they escape, Cara and Mando agree to report Mayfeld dead so he doesn’t have to go to prison. I hope the next time we see him, he’s found his way home to Space Boston. Mando does his version of the Taken call and tells Moff Gideon that as long as he’s holding Grogu there is no safe place for him in the Galaxy, he will be found.

We also learned that Storm Troopers have to fill our TPS reports and this makes the most sense. Of course Innitech and The Empire are the same level of bureaucratic evil.

Anyway, if you could come in on Saturday, that would be GREEAAATTT!

The 007 Project: The Man With The Golden Gun

Previously On The 007 Project: We’ve got a new bond in Roger Moore, and also so much racism.

Who’s Our Bond?

Roger Moore is going to be around for a while. I really like him in The Man With The Golden Gun, where he seems to be genuinely perturbed to be in a James Bond movie. He’s had it up to here with the villain, with not getting to have sex with the girl because of shenanigans, with the “we’re not so different, you and I” dynamic, and it makes for a really delightful performances.

What’s The Plot?

A boat arrives at Fantasy Island…OK, it isn’t Fantasy Island, but Herve Villechaize is there, playing not Tatoo but Nick Nack, who works with notorious assassin Francisco Scaramanga, played by Christopher Lee! The man on the boat enters into a protracted duel with Scaramanga and we see that Scaramanga is obsessed with killing James Bond.

M tells James Bond he is welcome to lay low while they try to catch Scaramanga but Bond refuses. They track the assassin to Hong Kong where Bond rendezvous with Mary Goodnight, who keeps getting quite frustrated when they can’t hook up and Bond keeps going off with other women for mission purposes.

Lady, you are CRUSHING ON 007, get it together re: Him being a big whore. Anyway, they’re after a formula that would allow solar power to function better than fossil fuels. YAYYY! A murdered scientist leads the team from Hong Kong to Bangkok, and Scaramanga’s girlfriend offers to get the formulafor Bond, then they have sex, Goodnight is very put out. There’s an extended carchase and that fucking sheriff from Louisiana shows up and I very nearly throw a beer bottle at my television set.

Anyway this all leads to Goodnight and Bond on Scaramanca’s island a duel between the assassins. Bond wins! But stupid Goodnight, destorys the solar fuel.

Women, am I right? Anyway, then they have sex on a boat, and the movie ends. Hooray!

I’m Adressing The Problematic

There’s some lame orientalism going her, and conflating of far east cultures into one, but as with the other eastern set flicks, pretty ok generally.

Tell Me About The Girl

Britt Ekland plays Mary Goodnight who might be the most frustrating character in any movie I’ve liked as much as this one. She’s whiny, clumsy and bad at her job. Super lame, do not like.

The Song Is The Thing

Lulu performs “The Man With The Golden Gun,” and it is super corny and not particularly memorable.

Overall Thoughts

Subtracting the too long chase scenes and providing vaguely better writing for Goodnight would have made this a better movie, but I’m always happy to see Christopher Lee and I really do think Roger Moore is excellent in this one.

Next week, romance is back on the table with The Spy Who Loves Me

Fangirl Loves Star Wars: The Mandalorian: “Chapter 14: The Tragedy”

It’s almost like the show runners know exactly what to give us to keep us from just being furious. Because in this episode where Tiny Grogu gets captured by Moff Gideon and tortured a little, we are given Boba Fett and Fennec Shand as played by Ming-Na Wen.

I can’t be mad at a episode of TV that gives me Ming-Na.

Anyway, what happened? So, after arriving on yet another planet, Mando and Grogu go to a sacred stone so Grogu can meditate and send out a Force message to other Jedi who would train him besides Ahsoka, who Mando adorably calls, “That Nice Lady.” It takes the form of a giant beacon to the sky that also acts as a protective force field. COOL.

In the meantime, Mando is confronted by an old man who asks for his armor back. It’s BOBA FETT! He does not claim to be Mandolorian by creed (True!) but the armor is still his by right and inheritance, it was his father’s, now it’s his. (ALSO TRUE!) He’s teamed up with Fennec, and when Moff Gideon shows up and takes Grogu they agree to help Mando get him back.

Also the Razor Crest blows up, RIP friend, you’ll be missed.

In order to help in mission save Grogu from Evil Imperials, Mando goes to Cara Dune (Obligatory Fuck Gina Carrano. TRANS RIGHTS! Donate to The Okra Project or another Trans charity of your choice!) to ask her to use her shiny New Republic Marshal status to free Bill Burr (or whatever his character’s name is) from prison to help him track down Moff Gideon.

She’s hesistant but when he informs her that it’s to free Grogu she’s all in.

So what’s next? Will Ezra and his Space Whales show up to free Grogu? Will we be heading to Space Boston with Bill Burr? Will Boba and Ahsoka meet and will she shame him for not rallying with his brothers? Who is the mole leaking to Moff Gideon? (I have thoughts!)

Sorry this was late y’all. I had a busy (but good) weekend, and didn’t get to the episode until Sunday night, and I usually like a day or so to think out the episode before I write these recaps.

Love you all! I may have some news of the personal variety to post soon. (Again, all good!)

The 007 Project: Live And Let Die 

Previously On The 007 Project: We bid a fond farewell to the original Bond, Sean Connery with a perfectly Meh, movie.

Who’s Our Bond?

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Roger Moore. Sir Roger is easily the most divisive figure in my familial Bond history, as I think he’s great, and my older brother says things like, “I want to rewatch the Bond movies with you but I’m skipping Roger Moore.” (Our other Bond related argument is everyone’s and revolves around Idris Elba, and how I think he is now too old for the part) After a fairly decent early career as a contract player, he was cast as Bond after losing out to Lazenby in 1969. His Bond is not quite as stoic as Connery’s, but he’s definitely funnier. All about the wit. He’s also no where near as attractive as Connery in the early goings, but he breezes along in this movie quite well, and I was happy that recollection of him as great was correct.

What’s The Plot?
Ohh KAYYY, here we go. The Prime Minister of a small carribean nation is suspected of drug smuggling and Felix Leiter and M decide Bond in the man to catch him, after the two agents who had been watching him have disappeared. Arriving in New York, 007 immediately gets into a scuffle in Harlem, where he learns of Mr. Big, a bad gangster. (There’s also a LOT of shit about 70s Harlem to dig into here, but we’ll get into it below).

Mr. Big appears to be being advised by Solitaire, an actual real psychic with a talent for reading tarot cards. She is Jane Seymour, and she is incredible. Upon seeing Bond, she immediately draws “The Lovers,” which, James cannot resist being gross about, because, James Bond.

He follows the case to San Monique, the island nation that Dr. Kanaga, said suspected diplomat, rules. There he meets Rosie Carver, another CIA agent, who’s going to help him track the villain. Turns out she’s working for him, which we learn after Bond bones her. Turns out ther’es a Voodoo cult that is protecting the poppy fields, which Kanaga uses to make heroin, and they’ve been sacrificing the missing agents. OH NO!

Coming upon Solitaire, Bond liberates her with his dick. Also, now that she’s not a virgin, she loses her psychic powers. Men ruin everything. She gets over this pretty quickly and the pair of them flee to New Orleans, where they soon learn the Mr. Big and Kanaga, SAME GUY. He plans to undermine the mafia by giving out free heroin. And then when the whole world is addicted to heroin he’ll start charging. There’s also a terrible 20 minute section where Bond is in a boat chase with a redneck sheriff and it shouldn’t be in the movie it sucks.

They catch Kanaga and Solitaire and Bond leave to have sex on a train. The end.

I’m Addressing The Problematic

Ohhh, boy. This whole movie is crazy problematic, from the voddoo cult, to the depictions of Harlem and New Orleans (the New Orleans scenes are at least cool to look at though) to Solitaire as basically the paragon of the “white slavery” trope. Rosie is black though, so that’s fun, a Black Bond girl. But the voodoo stuff is just really rough, if visually interesting.

Tell Me About The Girl

We have two, let’s start with Rosie Carter, a junior CIA agent who rendezvous with Bond in San Monique. She’s played by Gloria Hendry, and while she at first tells him to quit it with all his James Bond crap, she does eventually succumb and then it turns out she’s working with Kanaga. I think she then dies? She kind of just disappears from the movie.

Solitaire, the actually psychic tarot card reader, is played by Jane Seymour in her first film role and she is, as Seymour usually is, excellent. She is also almost impossibly lovely. She is so pretty and cool and awesome and I love her, and also she has virginity based magical powers.

The Song Is The Thing

I love love love the song “Live And Let Die” performed by Sir Paul McCartney. I also like it when performed by Guns N Roses. It is a great song and when I saw Paul McCartney perform live (Remember concerts?) he ended the show with it and lit off a bunch of fireworks when the “Dun dun dun dun, dun dun,” part kicked in and it was THE SHIT!

Overall Thoughts

I think, even the horrible racism aside, this could have been a good movie. Unfortunately I think it carries on a little bit too long and is horribly racist.

Next week, we continue down the Roger Moore is delightful trail with The Man With The Golden Gun.