Game Of Thrones Winner: “The Bells”

I spent a lot of this episode going, “YOU MOTHER FUCKERS DID NOT!”

And then sighing.

Because the mother fuckers, indeed did.

Anyway, who’s our winner?

Sandor Clegane, because he helps Arya keep her humanity, and her life, by facing down his brother. He kills his brother which is nice. As you know in these final few seasons, when someone meets a goal, they get the win. Even if they die doing it.

game-of-thrones-hound-1557418129.jpg

So, good for you, Sandor Clegane, The Hound. You’re the winner this week. Also RIP. (Further RIPs, below.)

Runner Up Is Arya, you ride that horse right home to Winterfell and your man and your sister, girl, you do it NOW.

Arya And Gendry Watch

No Gendry. From a ship perspective this might be the worst episode of the whole series. Jaime and Cersei die together. (BOOOO) Missandei is dead and Grey Worm does not get nearly enough screen time to mourn the woman he loved properly. Jon and Dany had the most awkward breakup ever.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

No Sansa, but the legacy of her being kind of a big mouth is a big driver of this episode.

NO YOU MOTHER FUCKERS DID NOT

Varys’s death is a really fuck you moment for me. Honestly, last week was a big turning point for my relationship with this show, which I have loved so much over the past few years. It’s looking like this is not going to pay off and I’m bummed about it. Varys rules and that was a shitty death for a character that rules so hard.

RIP Varys, also RIP Jaime and Cersei and the Clegane brothers and like half the population of King’s Landing.

Next week is the last episode. I’m kind of, you know, whatever. It’s fine. This will be over soon.

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