I used to have nightmares about my brother dying.
My older brother dropped out of college in 2004. This was the height of the Iraq and Afgan wars. There was a lot of talk about reinstating the draft. I was in high school, and anxiety ridden anyway. And I had this image that recurred again and again in my dreams of a plain wood coffin, draped in an American flag, and my perfect charismatic beautiful wonderful big brother, dead as a doornail inside of it.
This image was in my mind as I read Stephanie Wittels Wachs heartbreaking and stunningly beautiful memoir about her brother Harris Wittels, who was a comedy world golden boy, an actual genius at his trade, and more importantly, at least to Stephanie, a drug addict.
The memoir is written in broken grief stricken sections. Flashing through the first year after Harris’s death and the two years before that, beginning when Harris confessed to her about his addiction.
There were a lot of horrible and wonderful things in this book. But as I read about how Stephanie worked through my worst my nightmare, I felt uplifted. (I sometimes think I’m too Irish and depressing things uplift me…) Perserverence through grief is incredible, and the rawness that Stephanie displays throughout is breathtaking.
The book is less funny than you might expect. Stephanie is angry so it’s hard for her to display her brilliant brother in all of his comedic glory. By the way, that’s not her job, either. Harris Wittels was prolific in his short life and so much of it is out there for the world to see (or hear, dude was on a lot of podcasts…)
But it’s also possible that reading about someone having to live through what is literally my worst nightmare, losing a sibling, killed the comedy for me. But the book is very good! You should read it.
I’m take a week off from regular reading (WHAT?) because I’m gearing up my research planner brain for a trip to Paris! (It’s not until fall 2019, but I’m a crazy person.) And I want to dig into some guide books. Also I have some writing to do. BUT I may also read some comics collections. (AHHH!!! I’m opening up the void!)