The Dark Side Rises, Anakin makes some weird decisions, and TWINS!

Look, you know how you can really love something but know deep down in your heart of hearts that it’s complete and total garbage?

That’s how I feel about Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of The Sith. It’s objectively an awful awful film, but I love every illogical twist and bit of scenery chewing in it.

However, as I watched it last night, with a fever of at least 100, and barely able to breath through my nose (also why this post is so late tonight…I slept rather than write it last night or this morning.) I didn’t find it as charming as usual. (Check out my twitter for more on that.

Anyway! On to the mythology:

  • Palpatine tells Anakin the story of Darth Plagieous, who was able to create and destroy life through mastery of the force. Sidious was Plagious’s apprentice, who evetnually killed him. It is also believed that Plagieous’s experiments caused Anakin’s conception. He’s an important figure who we’ve never met. (There are several theories that Snoke is Plagieous…I’m less than convinced on that one.)
  • Anakin embraces the darkside again, killing Dooku while the older man is unarmed (And at Palpatine’s behest), and then you know, slaughtering a temple full of children…
  • We learn that the clones have had a secret order in their programming, “Order 66” meant to turn them on their Jedi commanders. As far as we know, only Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda survive the order, and Anakin’s purge of the temple. (If you’re a Clone Wars and Rebels person you know that Ahsoka Tano, having left the Jedi order also gets away and Kanaan Jarris, a padowan, escapes the temple) (If you’re a normal fan, those names mean nothing to you BUT THEY SHOULD! Watch Clone Wars and Rebels they are amazing)
  •  Obi-Wan, Yoda and Bail Organa basically start the rebellion because you wanna know who doesn’t mess around? Bail Organa! You know who raised the greatest badass the galaxy’s ever seen? Bail Organa! You know what? I think we can all be grateful to Rogue One for finally giving Jimmy Smits as Bail Organa a good movie to be in at long last.
  • After dueling on Mustafar, Obi-Wan leaves Anakin for dead, picking up his light saber on the way out. He later gives it to Luke. Luke loses it when Darth Vader cuts off his hand (before revealing that he’s in fact Anakin) Somehow, Maz Kanata got it, and Rey found it. But this is the first time it passes hands.
  • Padme gives birth to Luke and Leia and then promptly dies. This is a HUGE BUMMER and as a character she deserved better. However, it gives us a hint to Leia’s force sensitivity, as she notes to Luke later that she remembers her birth mother.
  • Leia is sent to Alderaan to be raised by Bail Organa and be a princess and a badass. Luke is sent to Tatooine to grow up with Owen and Baru Lars, living a brutal and boring life as a moisture farmer. This feels like it’s a rough deal for Luke.
  • Oh, also Yoda was fighting on Kashyyk, the Wookie planet, during order 66, and Chewbacca was there! HOORAY!
  • Once he’s fully transformed, black helmet and all, Vader begins supervising the construction of the Death Star. Somewhere, tiny little Jyn Erso is crying for her daddy.

So that’s Episode III, it’s a trash fire, but it’s my beloved trash fire.


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