Sexiest Man Alive? Eh? Fine…

So Blake Shelton was named People‘s Sexiest Man Alive this year.

This is only on my radar because The AV Club wrote this fun article about it. Which makes me a little sad, because this used to be the kind of thing I paid attention to. Not sad in like, “OMG I miss being that person,” way, I like who I’ve grown into and the interests I’ve cultivated beyond main line celebrity gossip pipelines, more in a “huh, the world has moved on and so have I and change is weird,” way.

Anyway, on to Mr. Shelton.

This means nothing, really, but on a planet where all four Chrises exist, I have trouble clocking this, and I like Blake Shelton. Actually I think I just like Blake Shelton’s taste in women…both Miranda Lambert and Gwen Stefani are awesome. But he’s fine.

He is not, in my estimation, the sexiest man alive. (All opinions below take this as a granted fact)

He is not even the sexiest male country star over 40. (Tim McGraw exists.)

tim-mcgraw

Hello Tim

He is not even the sexiest guy who’s show is on NBC on Tuesday nights. (This Is Us airs after The Voice, so Milo Ventimiglia, Justin Hartley and Sterling K. Brown are there. Depending on what you’re into into, dude wise, your bases are pretty well covered) (I think there’s also a Chicago on…which, while I can’t name any of them, all those shows are pretty full of sexy dudes, I know from watching said shows with my mom)

He may not even be the sexiest male judge on The Voice. (I’m kinda into Adam Levine, y’all, he’s exactly my brand of scum bag. Also, Usher.)

usher

I mean, even if you didn’t want to give it to a Chris, specifically (Though, why not, People? THERE ARE FOUR OF THEM! And I think you’ve only given it to Hemsworth…) there are also two lesser but still quite sexy Hemsworth brothers.

Hell, there’s a whole universe of Non-Chris sexy dudes in Marvel movies, not to mention John Boyega and Oscar Isaac, who should be gearing up the publicity machine any moment now.

I know, I know, my choices tend to skew nerdy, but since nerd culture is now pop culture, (I know this because my nerdy websites told me so!) they’re basically the mainstream hotties nowadays. That or like youtube stars or whatever the kids are into. (Teens still like the YouTubes, yes? I’m 30 now, so I’m old and do not know the things)

Trust me, this is better than when I was sixteen and consistently whined that Adam Pascal was overlooked. (Although he was. And is. Just in general. He’s very sexy.) At least now most people have heard of my choices and are familiar with their work.

Anyway, I know everyone’s been making these jokes for the past twenty four hours, but seriously its weird.

But hey, Blake Shelton really does have AWESOME taste in women .

3 thoughts on “Sexiest Man Alive? Eh? Fine…

  1. 😂 we were listening to the radio (duh, road trip) and the station we were on was reading out funny tweets about this. My favorite was “Blake Shelton is not the sexiest man alive. He’s not even the sexiest man on The Voice.” I agree with all of this and as much as I like Blake and feel bad that he’s getting so much negativity I would not have ever classified him as sexy. Anyway, I said to Dom it was probably his underwear ads 😂😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

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