I hate this.
Every year, I hate this. I hate when the show ends, and this year, it’s even shorter and I don’t even have any episodes in the backlog to do winners for.
I’m gonna have to read the books again, and I’m still smack dab in the middle of The Stand, so I don’t think that’ likely to happen soon.
Anyway, who won?
The Stark Girls. Obviously.
Because, look, these two finally learned to work together. AND THEY CUT LITTLE FINGER’S THROAT.
So he’s finally gone. And it’s at the hand of the two people who have more cause to do it than anyone else. Although, all of Westeros deserves a chance to spit on his corpse since every current non White Walker problem is pretty much all his fault.
Anyway, WAY TO GO Sansa and Arya, I think I could watch that scene of the two of them on top of Winterfell over and over again. (I’ve already watched it twice.)
Runner Up is a certain King In The North, who is also uh, you know, AEGON TARGARYEN THE TRUE HEIR TO THE IRON THRONE.
Missandei And Grey Worm Watch
They’re around and alive. Good.
JON AND DANY HAD SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He defied Cersei for her. AND THEN THEY HAD SEX. She reminded him that she can’t have children. He said that maybe that wasn’t the case. AND THEN THEY HAD SEX.
The point is they had sex.
OH, in other shipping news, Brienne convinced Jaime to do the right thing.
Sansa’s Agency Watch
Arya Bad Ass Watch
Bran Stark’s The Three Eyed Raven’s Excellent Adventure
Bran and Sam compared notes and learned the full truth about Jon’s identity. Rhaegar and Lyanna were in love and married, in a secret ceremony right out of the ending of Episode II. (Seriously…if you didn’t get Anakin and Padme vibes from the scene…) Jon is not a bastard, he is actually Aegan Targaryen, the heir to iron throne.
This is complicated for a lot of reasons…
So, Jon and Theon have a long talk about Ned being a part of them, so I feel like that might come home to roost at one point.
Oh, also HE AND DANY HAD SEX! Did I mention that part? And we saw Kit Harrinton’s butt. Which is always a nice trick.
Sam is A Ravenclaw
I’ve decided because it was Sam’s book learnin that gave us our final answer.
How Long Until Jaime Snaps?
Jaime did the right thing! He’s riding north to help in the big fight. He’s leaving Cersei behind. He’s honoring his vow to Dany and to Tyrion and YESSS!!!!
The Dragon Has Three Heads
The two heads boned. Dany and Jon had sex.
The other head, rode his GODDAMN ZOMBIE ICE DRAGON to the wall, and had his ZOMBIE ICE DRAGON blow a hole in said wall. He’s marching to Winterfell.
Little Finger. FINALLY. I won’t miss him. I’ve spent this whole season wondering, “why the hell is this guy still alive?”
So What Comes Next?
I don’t know. I have a few ideas. I think I need to revist the books. I know I say that every year, but well, I mean, I know.
That there are only seven episodes left altogether is really throwing me for a loop, if I’m honest. I love this world and story and these characters so much.
Spin Off Speculation
I’m better HARD on the fall of Valeria. It’s what I want the most. I would also think that the war between the children of the forest and the first men. Or anything with Bran the builder.