There is a lot of stuff in this episode.
Oh just loads. Just, so much stuff.
But who won? Well, that’s hard for me to pick, but I’m going to go with Jon. Though he doesn’t know half the reason why he gets the win.
OH HEY!!!!! YOU’RE MINE NOW. – Rhaegal, probably.
So, here are some things that are happening for Jon. Rhaegal let him pet him. He and Danerys have a plan to get Cersei to leave King’s Landing and fight the army of the dead (maybe). He and Gendry are buddies like instantly.
Oh, and also Gilly finds proof that Rhaegar and Elia’s marriage was annulled and Rhaegar was married to someone else, which means that Jon is in fact, the true born son of Rhaegar Targaryen, and has a better claim on the Iron Throne than Dany, if it weren’t for the whole dragon situation, and the fact that he might not want it.
Oh, also, he’s back through the wall to capture a white walker to bring to King’s landing so that Cersei can believe in the Night King or something. Also, Dany.
Also, there were several longing looks.
Missandei And Grey Worm Watch
Not in the episode. Cersei, however, is pregnant with Jaime’s baby, so my other werido ship is sunk, I guess. (Euron never really stood much of a chance.)
Hey, do you think if Gendry survives everything he and Arya can get together? Remember when he said, “you could be my lady,” to her. So cute.
Sansa’s Agency Watch
Little Finger seems determined to ruin everything good in the world by exploiting the distrust between Sansa and Arya, and Sansa is determined to hold the North, since her siblings (well, and secret King Cousin!) don’t seem to give a rat’s ass. (Granted, Bran and Jon are trying to save Westeros from the apocalypse. And Jon is honoring his people’s wishes by not bending the knee to Dany, but still, I get her frustration.)
Arya Bad Ass Watch
Mostly she’s just skulking, which is important, but all her talk of cutting off heads and people betraying Jon pissed me off almost as much as it pissed Sansa off. Her taking down Little Finger however, would be nice.
Bran Stark’s The Three Eyed Raven’s Excellent Adventure
Bran sees the Night King attacking East Watch, so Jon goes there.
Rhaegar & Lyanna were married. JON TARGARYEN MOTHER FUCKERS. He is the rightful king of Westeros, the chosen king of the North, and one of the three heads of the dragon.
Oh, also, he’s really sexy, and has a new buddy.
And a plan.
Sam Is A Ravenclaw (Or Possibly A Hufflepuff)
Sam left the Citadel. Gilly, meanwhile, found an important piece of information from a book that may change the course of the story. GILLY IS HERMIONE EVERYONE! Also, Sam needs to stop acting a like a Gryffindor. He’s not. He’s a Ravenclaw, he’s possibly a Hufflepuff. Not that they can’t do heroic things. (Luna Lovegood and Cedric Diggory and all…) Just, you know, all of it feels off.
Oh, but you know. Also, there is proof that Jon is a Targaryen.
How Long Til Jaime Snaps?
He won’t? Seriously, I’m bummed out about this. But, hey, he sort of kind of forgave Tyrion, so Yay?
The Dragon Has Three Heads
A NEW CANDIDATE EMERGES! (I’m talking about Gendry)
Sitcoms Ideas That Could Be The New Spin Off
Bastard Buddies: Jon and Gendry are roommates. I haven’t really gotten beyond that part yet.
Ser Mopey Bear And The Dragon Queen: Jorah and Dany’s life as newlyweds. It’s like King of Queens except with lots of glowering and pregnant pauses.
The Odd Couple: Can two sisters who survived years of trauma share a castle without driving each other crazy?