Attack

I finally wrote some action! (KInda)!

The Marina Chronicle

We were standing in the trees when two black guards came upon our small camp site. Elodie, who a few minutes before had seemed like simply a perky country girl jumped, quickly dodging a blow from the first guard. She swung her sword back at him and sliced his legs.

The second guard was engaged with The General and The Count, which seemed unfair, and almost certainly was. They fought like lightening, that was until the guard manage to land a blow on the General. Although it didn’t take long for the Count to then behead the guard.

“It’s safe,” he called out and we ran to them. “Martin, are you alright?”

“I will be,” the general stood up. He didn’t look alright.

“You’re bleeding,” Elodie said softly. “We have to get you back to camp.”

“Are they?” I swallowed, staring at the sprawled bodies of the guards.

“Dead?” Elodie…

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Top 5 Disney Character Songs

As I get ready for my next trip to Disney World, I’ve been listening to a lot of Disney music and since I spent a large amount of time thinking about my relationship to musical theater this summer, I decided to talk about the way Disney songs fit into the general Musical Theater song categories.

A Character song is a song that basically sets up a character’s thesis statement. Sometimes, an “I Want” song (chronicled here) is a character song, but not all character songs are “I Want” songs. (You know, it’s a squares and rectangles sort of a situation.) So I’m trying to steer clear of “I Wants,” here. Some classic character songs include, “I’m Just A Girl Who Can’t Say No,” “The Worst Pies In London,” ” “Popular,” “Master Of The House,” “I Am What I Am,” and “Everything’s Coming Up Roses.”

5. “Why Should I Worry” from Oliver And Company

Dodger

Oliver features a couple of great character songs, and one of them is going to be in runners up, but “Why Should I Worry,” got the spot because, I mean, it’s a Billy Joel song, sung by a dog, who then plays piano with his tail. The song introduces us to Dodger, a too cool for school mutt, who recruits adorable kitty Oliver into the life of an animal of the streets. Also, he plays the piano with his tail. 

4. “Poor Unfortunate Souls” from The Little Mermaid

Ursula

I love The Little Mermaid, fiercely, and this song, the introduction of Ursula The Sea Witch is such an integral part of what makes it amazing. Ursula lays out her whole deal on the line in this song, which she still manages to use to trick Ariel into going along with her plan. Also, like every from The Little Mermaid, it is masterfully and brightly performed.

3. “Let It Go” from Frozen

Let it go

One of my favorite things is when the rest of the world catches on to something that subcultures have known for a long time. And “Let It Go,” gave theater people that when the rest of the world realized that Idina Menzel is amazing, and we should listen to her belt high d’s for always and forever. Also, “Let It Go,” gives Elsa her grand moment, the moment where she realizes that her power, while terrifying is also beautiful, and that she can’t hide from what’s inside of her anymore.

2. “Hakuna Matata” from The Lion King

timon and pumbaa

We get two character’s life statements in this song, both Timon and Pumbaa lay out their “problem free philosophy,” as they teach Simba about life with “no worries,” and hey, this song introduced us to what would later be one of the greatest song and dance teams ever, as the song finishes up with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick harmonizing.

1. “Friend Like Me” from Aladdin

The-Genie-Aladdin

Not only would my brother stop speaking to me if I didn’t choose this one, (His favorite Disney song from his favorite Disney Movie) I happen to agree that it’s the best in this section. Tailor made to it’s performer, as many character songs are, laying out who the character is and relentlessly catchy. Robin Williams gave us a lifetime of amazing performances, but this is probably my favorite.

Runners Up: “Perfect” from Oliver And Company, “Mother Knows Best” from Tangled, “You’re Welcome” from Moana

Game of Thrones Winner: “The Dragon And The Wolf”

I hate this.

Every year, I hate this. I hate when the show ends, and this year, it’s even shorter and I don’t even have any episodes in the backlog to do winners for.

I’m gonna have to read the books again, and I’m still smack dab in the middle of The Stand, so I don’t think that’ likely to happen soon.

Anyway, who won?

The Stark Girls. Obviously.

Arya and Sansa

Because, look, these two finally learned to work together. AND THEY CUT LITTLE FINGER’S THROAT.

So he’s finally gone. And it’s at the hand of the two people who have more cause to do it than anyone else. Although, all of Westeros deserves a chance to spit on his corpse since every current non White Walker problem is pretty much all his fault.

Anyway, WAY TO GO Sansa and Arya, I think I could watch that scene of the two of them on top of Winterfell over and over again. (I’ve already watched it twice.)

Runner Up is a certain King In The North, who is also uh, you know, AEGON TARGARYEN THE TRUE HEIR TO THE IRON THRONE.

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

They’re around and alive. Good.

JON AND DANY HAD SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He defied Cersei for her. AND THEN THEY HAD SEX. She reminded him that she can’t have children. He said that maybe that wasn’t the case. AND THEN THEY HAD SEX.

The point is they had sex.

OH, in other shipping news, Brienne convinced Jaime to do the right thing.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

See above.

Arya Bad Ass Watch

See above.

Bran Stark’s The Three Eyed Raven’s Excellent Adventure

Bran and Sam compared notes and learned the full truth about Jon’s identity. Rhaegar and Lyanna were in love and married, in a secret ceremony right out of the ending of Episode II. (Seriously…if you didn’t get Anakin and Padme vibes from the scene…) Jon is not a bastard, he is actually Aegan Targaryen, the heir to iron throne.

This is complicated for a lot of reasons…

#NotAStark #NotABastard

So, Jon and Theon have a long talk about Ned being a part of them, so I feel like that might come home to roost at one point.

Oh, also HE AND DANY HAD SEX! Did I mention that part? And we saw Kit Harrinton’s butt. Which is always a nice trick.

Sam is A Ravenclaw

I’ve decided because it was Sam’s book learnin that gave us our final answer.

How Long Until Jaime Snaps?

Jaime did the right thing! He’s riding north to help in the big fight. He’s leaving Cersei behind. He’s honoring his vow to Dany and to Tyrion and YESSS!!!!

The Dragon Has Three Heads

The two heads boned. Dany and Jon had sex.

The other head, rode his GODDAMN ZOMBIE ICE DRAGON to the wall, and had his ZOMBIE ICE DRAGON blow a hole in said wall. He’s marching to Winterfell.

RIP

Little Finger. FINALLY. I won’t miss him. I’ve spent this whole season wondering, “why the hell is this guy still alive?”

So What Comes Next?

I don’t know. I have a few ideas. I think I need to revist the books. I know I say that every year, but well, I mean, I know.

That there are only seven episodes left altogether is really throwing me for a loop, if I’m honest. I love this world and story and these characters so much.

Spin Off Speculation

I’m better HARD on the fall of Valeria. It’s what I want the most. I would also think that the war between the children of the forest and the first men. Or anything with Bran the builder.

Top 5 Disney “I Want” Songs

So, I’m going back to Disney World in a few weeks.

I’m going four times this year.

I know.

I know.

Anyway…because of that, I’ve been listening to a lot of Disney music. And I started thinking about Disney’s place in musical theater canon. Some of the best “showtunes” of the past 30 years have come from the House of Mouse, which is why I’m convinced that Disney is (part of) why I became a theater geek. I instinctively understood how musicals worked by the age of 4 because of how many times I’d watched The Little Mermaid. (A LOT of times, you guys. A LOT)

So, I’m starting with “I Want” songs. An “I Want” song is sung by a protagonist and states what their goal is. It usually takes place in Act 1, after the opening. Some classic “I Wants,” include, “Somewhere That’s Green,” “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?,” “Something’s Coming,” “One Song Glory,” and “The Wizard And I.” (See, I went modern for a couple!)

5. “Someday My Prince Will Come” – Snow White

Snow White 1

I gave it a spot for being the original, and it really is a lovely piece of music. Snow White’s trilling soprano is dated now, and annoying always but the chirpy bird-like sound is a nice thematic touch. Snow White is dreaming of escape, this is what she wants, it’s clear and pretty and kind of perfect for her.

4. “How Far I’ll Go” – Moana

MoanaPortrait.0

Only this low because it’s new, and we don’t know how we’ll all feel about it in a few decades. (Good, I’m betting on good.) I love this song. Lin-Manuel writes good “I Want.” (“My Shot,” and “It Won’t Be Long Now,” LISTEN TO THEM. I will wait.) But when I heard this song for the first time, I was blown away. We know Moana so perfectly through this song, not just it’s lyrics, but it’s rising and falling melody and pulsing rhythm. So good!

3. “I Can Go The Distance” – Hercules

Hercules-Go-The-Distance

Hercules is my number one most underrated Disney Soundtrack, and this song is another one that gives us such a clear picture of our hero. We know everything that Hercules wants, what drives him, from this song. It’s also a great heroic theme, those soaring horns and strings, so beautiful!

2. “Belle (Reprise)” – Beauty And The Beast

Belle

Look, it LITERALLY has the phrase, “I want adventure in the great wide somewhere” in it. We’ve already met Belle before this reprise, but it’s still a good one! This is her thesis statement. Also…Mencken

1. “Part Of Your World” – The Little Mermaid 

Ariel-in-Her-Cave-in-The-Little-Mermaid

Sometimes I think that “Part Of Your World” is the platonic ideal of an “I Want” song, and it’s definitely one of my favorites ever. My eyes and insides have their own reactions to this song. (I cry, a lot, with wild abandon.) Ariel’s greatest desire is to be human, to experience a world she’s only ever caught glimpses of, that she doesn’t really understand, but desperately yearns to. The song also has the secret weapon of Jodi Benson’s voice, which is exceptional. That belt is insane, when she hits, “when’s it my turn?” if your heart doesn’t just melt to that little red haired fish girl, I don’t know if you have a heart.

Runners Up: “For The First Time In Forever” from Frozen, “Almost There,” from The Princess And The Frog, “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King,” from The Lion King, “Out There” from The Hunchback Of Notre Dame.

Not Disney But Should Be Mentioned Because It’s One Of The Greatest “I Want” Songs Ever: “Journey To The Past” from Anastasia. 

 

 

Something New

Marina’s on her way to camp! And things are going to happen soon! (I know, I’m being vague on purpose!)

The Marina Chronicle

I haven’t written lately, because I hate riding in the open countryside. I was surprised when Papa said we weren’t taking a coach, though I’m not sure why. He said we’d move faster this way and also because we sent our coach to Brightcoast to throw off Brayton.

This all makes sense, but it does not make a week on horseback any more fun. We’re a days ride away from the camp now. Papa, me, and Count Caleb. We’ve met up with General Martin now as well, and another royal guard named Elodie Wills.

“You aren’t used to this,” Elodie said as we settled in to eat. I nodded. “It’s better at camp, I promise, nothing like the palace, I’m sure, but better than this.”

“Why are we doing this?” I asked. She smiled.

“Camp’s place is secret,” she shrugged, and pulled out a cloth to clean her sword, “we…

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Game of Thrones Winner: “Beyond The Wall”

Around this time last season I gave out a win I wasn’t happy about and I think I have to do the same this time.

This week’s win goes to The Night King

Night King

Because OMG YOU GUYS AN ICE DRAGON! That’s something that’s going to happen. Anyway, he lost the battle, (kinda?) but he HAS AN ICE DRAGON NOW.

Soooo….yeah.

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

They aren’t around much these days but OMG Jon calling Dany, well Dany, and her comparing him to Drogo and to Daario.

I KNOW IT’S INCEST AND IT’S SORT OF GROSS BUT I DON’T CARE I LOVE THEM AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND THEY HELD HANDS AND SHE WAS SCARED THAT HE DIED AND HE BENT THE KNEE AND THEY ARE GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD AND MAYBE DIE IN EACH OTHER’S ARMS AND IT’S GOING TO BE EPIC!

Sansa’s Agency Watch

Well, her sister might be trying to kill her and Little Finger is controlling her way too much, so this section kind of blows right now.

Arya Bad Ass Watch

Not really bad ass. Just SUPER creepy, with her bag of faces and her threatening to take Sansa’s face.

Bran Stark’s The Three Eyed Raven’s Excellent Adventure

No Bran this week.

#NotAStark #NotABastard

Jon tries to give Jorah Longclaw. Jorah won’t take it and tells Jon to give it to his children. I take this as Jorah giving his creepy stalker blessing to Danerys and Jon. Or telling Jon to back off and go off and marry someone else and have children. Could be either. Oh, also he kills a white walker and he and Dany love each other and OMG OMG OMG!

Sam Is A Ravenclaw (Or Possibly A Hufflepuff)

No Sam this week.

How Long Until Jaime Snaps?

No Jaime this week, but hey, let’s talk about how long until Tyrion snaps. It might be soon, since Dany refuses to listen to him, but I mean, she wasn’t wrong to fly up beyond the wall and save everyone, and lose one of dragons, but I can see why that would be annoying if you’re Tyrion.

The Dragon Has Three Heads

I guess the third head is The Night King. I did not see that one coming.

RIP

Thoros of Myr. May The Lord Of Light lead him out of eternal darkness, because the night is dark and full of terrors. I’ll miss Thoros, and I imagine the Beric will not be far behind him, but for now, well, Beric’s still kicking.

Lord Brayton: King Of Shadows

We meet our villain.

Something I’ve never been great at writing, so…we’ll see!

The Marina Chronicle

I walked into the large throne room and held my breath and counted to ten. I don’t like being in here. The great throne sits behind the large chair that Brayton has had made for himself.

After the summer. After Annalise is seventeen he can probably claim the throne and crown. Flanked at both his sides are his black guards, not proper royal protectors, like Sir Tristan and Lady Athena, but tall, large terrifying men dressed all in black, walk with him everywhere.

Also in the room are a few courtiers. Mercy Williams’s father, Lord Carver, who is so far up Lord Brayton’s, well, a lady shouldn’t say where, but he’s one of them. And as a surprise, Count Caleb is here. He’s my father’s closest friend, and I know now more than ever that he’s on Annalise’s side, but it’s always been a little off putting how good he…

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Game Of Thrones Winner: “Eastwatch”

There is a lot of stuff in this episode.

Oh just loads. Just, so much stuff.

But who won? Well, that’s hard for me to pick, but I’m going to go with Jon. Though he doesn’t know half the reason why he gets the win.

Jon and Rhaegal

OH HEY!!!!! YOU’RE MINE NOW. – Rhaegal, probably.

So, here are some things that are happening for Jon. Rhaegal let him pet him. He and Danerys have a plan to get Cersei to leave King’s Landing and fight the army of the dead (maybe). He and Gendry are buddies like instantly.

Oh, and also Gilly finds proof that Rhaegar and Elia’s marriage was annulled and Rhaegar was married to someone else, which means that Jon is in fact, the true born son of Rhaegar Targaryen, and has a better claim on the Iron Throne than Dany, if it weren’t for the whole dragon situation, and the fact that he might not want it.

Oh, also, he’s back through the wall to capture a white walker to bring to King’s landing so that Cersei can believe in the Night King or something. Also, Dany.

Also, there were several longing looks.

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

Not in the episode. Cersei, however, is pregnant with Jaime’s baby, so my other werido ship is sunk, I guess. (Euron never really stood much of a chance.)

Hey, do you think if Gendry survives everything he and Arya can get together? Remember when he said, “you could be my lady,” to her. So cute.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

Little Finger seems determined to ruin everything good in the world by exploiting the distrust between Sansa and Arya, and Sansa is determined to hold the North, since her siblings (well, and secret King Cousin!) don’t seem to give a rat’s ass. (Granted, Bran and Jon are trying to save Westeros from the apocalypse. And Jon is honoring his people’s wishes by not bending the knee to Dany, but still, I get her frustration.)

Arya Bad Ass Watch

Mostly she’s just skulking, which is important, but all her talk of cutting off heads and people betraying Jon pissed me off almost as much as it pissed Sansa off. Her taking down Little Finger however, would be nice.

Bran Stark’s The Three Eyed Raven’s Excellent Adventure

Bran sees the Night King attacking East Watch, so Jon goes there.

#NotAStark

Rhaegar & Lyanna were married. JON TARGARYEN MOTHER FUCKERS. He is the rightful king of Westeros, the chosen king of the North, and one of the three heads of the dragon.

Oh, also, he’s really sexy, and has a new buddy.

And a plan.

Sam Is A Ravenclaw (Or Possibly A Hufflepuff)

Sam left the Citadel. Gilly, meanwhile, found an important piece of information from a book that may change the course of the story. GILLY IS HERMIONE EVERYONE! Also, Sam needs to stop acting a like a Gryffindor. He’s not. He’s a Ravenclaw, he’s possibly a Hufflepuff. Not that they can’t do heroic things. (Luna Lovegood and Cedric Diggory and all…) Just, you know, all of it feels off.

Oh, but you know. Also, there is proof that Jon is a Targaryen.

How Long Til Jaime Snaps?

He won’t? Seriously, I’m bummed out about this. But, hey, he sort of kind of forgave Tyrion, so Yay?

The Dragon Has Three Heads

A NEW CANDIDATE EMERGES! (I’m talking about Gendry)

Sitcoms Ideas That Could Be The New Spin Off

Bastard Buddies: Jon and Gendry are roommates. I haven’t really gotten beyond that part yet.

Ser Mopey Bear And The Dragon Queen: Jorah and Dany’s life as newlyweds. It’s like King of Queens except with lots of glowering and pregnant pauses.

The Odd Couple: Can two sisters who survived years of trauma share a castle without driving each other crazy?

 

A Letter!

This week, Marina gets a letter from Tristan.

The Marina Chronicle

I got a letter from Tristan (Sir Tristan) today! I’m supposed to leave for the resistance camp tomorrow, and I was packing, but then Carolina (the new maid. She’s quite nice. She still doesn’t talk much.) (I wonder if I’ll have a maid at the camp.) (Probably not.) brought the letter, I couldn’t finish.

I can’t believe that he actually wrote!

Lady Marina,

We’ve arrived in Pantona, and were quite surprised to learn that you were being told the same secret as we were. It’s astounding isn’t it? We also talked about how it might be true and how you would See her and now we know for sure.

Countess Olivia has told me I can’t say much more specific. But I think you will very much like our new friend, Lisette. She’s a farmer’s daughter who the Count and Countess adopted when her parents were killed during the…

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Eventually The Tower Will Fall

The Dark Tower

On this level of the Tower, one near our own, in fact possibly even Keystone Earth, they sure refer to it as such over and over again in this movie, Jake Chambers isn’t the son of an indifferent depressed mom and a cocaine addicted status obsessed network executive, but the son of a dead fire fighter and a grieving but loving mom, and an indifferent stepfather.

Other than those details though, this is Jake, lonely, possibly crazy, sweet as pie, Jake. Strong with the touch (though they call it the Shine here, as a way to link us up even further to Stephen King, which, when you think about it, with all the talk of psychics and other worlds, that Danny Torrance and Carrie never come up in the books is WEIRD), and drawn to a terrifying mansion in Dutch Hill where he defeats a demon and finds his way through a portal to Mid-World, where he comes upon Roland Deschain.

And this is Roland, he is carrying the horn of Eld (SQUEE!) hardened and obsessed with revenge. He’s lost the path of the beam, though, he’s after Walter, who this time around is running a breaker facility, and wants Jake to be the one to finally bring the Dark Tower down.

Look, I get that if you’ve been waiting 30 years, this movie might not do the trick, but nothing will. I however was satisfied, and would be happy for more. (NO EDDIE! GIVE ME EDDIE!) Idris Elba and Matthew McConnaghey are excellently cast, and I really enjoyed McConnaghey’s performance, as the idea that Walter is kind of bored of this whole dance is enticing. The first thing we see is a bunch of psychic kids scrawling 19 all over the place, and while Jake enters Mid-World, he sees “All Hail The Crimson King” scrawled on a wall, and they’re on the run from Taheen employees of The Sombra Coporations and we even pay a visit to The Dixie Pig, so I was happy. (Not totally though, because like, where’s Susannah?) I half expected a moment where Jake hands Roland a soda for the can to read Noz-A-La.

In edition to the two perfect leads, we get Dennis Haysbert in a brief but perfect spot as Stephen Deschain. (In my head, I’m seeing Audra McDonald as Gabrielle. I’m not sure why…except that I love her.) And frankly, this movie is kind of bonkers in a way that fits with The Dark Tower, if a little stripped down and way less violent and scary.

It ends with a bullet between the eyes for Walter and Roland and Jake off to find other worlds, (and hopefully, Oy!) so maybe with enough money and luck we’ll see more and the rest of the Ka-Tet of 19 is waiting.

Rankings:

  1. Wonder Woman
  2. The Big Sick
  3. Dunkirk
  4. Spider-Man: Homecoming
  5. Guardians of The Galaxy: Volume 2
  6. King Arthur: Legend of The Sword
  7. The Dark Tower
  8. Cars 3
  9. Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Trailers:

We were pretty drunk, and late, so I didn’t remember many trailers. But whatever that plane crash movie with Idris and Kate Winslet is…well, that looks pretty good.