Happy Halloween y’all!!!
I am super into the use of Victorian Genre Material in this season. A little bit less into the Aladdin stuff, but I totally get that, “connection to a beloved animated film” is a better marketing strategy than “weird novellas that only super nerds have read.”
Anyway, let’s move on to our usual stories.
Rumple’s Fab New Haircut
And his fab new make outs with The Evil Queen. (EEWWW, but we’ll get to that in shipping, below.) He wants the Sheers of Destiny (That’s a thing?) in order to change his own fate and get Belle back. It’s nice to see Rumple with a goal again. Remember when he was all about finding Bae?
What’s Emma’s Problem?
Emma’s pretty even keeled right now. She’s accepted that she’s the savior and that comes with a price. Of course, Hook didn’t properly dispose of The Sheers of Destiny (I mean seriously). But otherwise, she talks to Aladdin about how in order to save the people they’re supposed to save if they keep running away.
It’s nice for Emma to have a peer.
Why Can’t Regina Be Happy?
Just again, with The Evil Queen running around. So fabulous though, like OMG.
Do Snow and Charming Have Something To Do?
They break into Zelena’s house for some reason, I’m not really sure why. To free The Cricket? I have no idea.
Did We Meet Anyone New?
Yes! We met Captain Nemo, who is apparently collecting other revenge minded dudes and bringing them on epic adventures to fill the holes in their hearts. It’s been a while since I read 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea but I don’t recall that. We also meet New Liam, Hook’s half brother who wants to kill Hook for killing their father. In the end though, New Liam and Hook make peace, because of Hook’s love for Henry, or something.
How’s Hook Adjusting To Modern Life?
Well, he doesn’t like Pop Tarts and is going to cook Henry a breakfast of eggs and boiled herring (Mama Nayds: Ew) so, you know, that’s not great. He is however committed to learning how to use the TV, or as he calls it, “Your magical video box.” I would like an entire episode of other action going on and Hook just watching TV. Specifically, I would like him to get into competition reality shows. Hook + Top Chef = COMEDY GOLD!
Aladdin is my new TV Boyfriend
As Aladdin sat in Granny’s with Jasmine, drinking coffee with an overly cocky tilt of his head and a glib dismissal of his ability to help anyone, I immediately though, “Oh, Jeez, he’s SO my type.” The recent resurgence of my love for Milo Ventimiglia as well as a “where are they now” article that included the fate of Mike Vitar (Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez/Luis Mendoza. He became an LA Fireman. I knew this. Because I am a WEIRDO), I realized that I have a very specific type when it comes to celebrity crushes. Dark hair, a little bit on the cocky side with a heart of gold and the skills to back up that cockiness.
So, while this plot line is SOOO boring, I’ll be watching closely, because I have a new TV boyfriend. (There are obviously exceptions to this. It’s the Chrises. They are the exception…obviously.)
You’re Not My Dad!
Henry and Hook generally do quite well with the whole step-dad thing. But we got SO CLOSE to the stereotypical teenage boy shouting at his step parent thing, and it’s ALL I WANT. I just want Henry to behave in a recognizable kid fashion, EVEN ONCE. But I do generally enjoy their growing relationship.
Do I Ship It?
Rumple/Evil Queen: NOOOOO!!! MAKE IT STOP!
Aladdin/Jasmine: Yeah, sure, whatever. He’s SO BEAUTIFUL you guys!