Game of Thrones Winner: “Battle Of The Bastards”

You’d think that maybe one of those Bastards would be the winner, and although Jon had a lot going for his win, I think we all know who actually won this episode.

It’s Sansa. Sansa is the winner for this episode and all episodes ever. Sansa wins everything.


Completely. Out. Of. Fucks.

Why does Sansa win? She sat on her horse and told Ramsey that he was going to die the next day. She yelled at Jon about how Ramsey plays games. She got the Knights of The Vale to come save Jon and The Wildlings (although SHARING this information with Jon, might have been helpful.) And then, and THEN in the end, after they won back Winterfell. (Though Rickon died. Sorry Rickon) Sansa FED RAMSEY TO HIS OWN DOGS and walked away. I half expected her to also spill some gasoline and light a match and walk away from the explosion. (I know that there isn’t actually gas in Westeros.) It was epic. It was perfect.

Runner ups (yes two) are Dany and Yara, who are now teaming up to take back Westeros.

Guys we are so close to Three Queens of Westeros. (Dany on The Iron Throne, Yara on The Salt Throne, Sansa as Queen In The North.) More on this below.

Missandei and Grey Worm Watch

Grey Worm killed the masters. Missandei rolled her eyes at them. There was no drunken joke telling. The episode was worse for it.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

SHE FED RAMSEY TO HIS DOGS!!!!!!!!!! Her agency is doing just fine.

Arya Bad Ass Watch

No Arya this week. Booo.

Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure

No Bran this week. But Melisandre explained the nature of the Lord of Light and how we can’t know his plan. Whatever. Davos also figured out that she burned Shireen to death. So that’s not going to end well.

King Tommen The Adorable

No Tommen this week. It’s a bummer.


Yara and Theon got themselves to Mereen and Tyrion notices that Theon has changed but does remind us all of what a little dill hole he was. Anyway, Yara and Dany flirt. (I ship it)  They agree that their dads sucked and that they’re going to make the world a better place when they take back Westeros.

You know, with the ships that Dany got from the Masters and Yara and Theon. And dragons. AND WE WILL HAVE THREE QUEENS IN WESTEROS AND ALSO ARYA WILL RAIN DOWN VENGEANCE ON THOSE THAT HAVE HARMED THE STARKS!

In other news, I’m closet cosplaying Game of Thrones characters every day this week. Check out my Facebook to see those!

3 thoughts on “Game of Thrones Winner: “Battle Of The Bastards”

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