The X-Files Movie: Fight The Future


I’m going to get this out of the way.

The X-Files is not a good movie.

It’s entertaining, and as a two hour, larger budgeted episode of The X-Files it is very effective.

But it is not, by any stretch of the imagination a good movie.

The plot, such as it is, involves a virus that incubates aliens in people. Scully may have contracted the virus.

Why, by the way, is it always Scully with the weird alien diseases? Why doesn’t Mulder ever get some kind of strange medical condition from their interaction with the aliens? Does this have something to do with him being there at Samantha’s abduction?

Anyway, The Well Manicured man is kind of not into this so he decides to help Scully and Mulder, which puts him on the outs and The Cigarette Smoking Man back in with that shadowy conspiracy committee. Good for you Cigarette Smoking Man!

Also, Mulder and Scully are finally like, in trouble, for just doing whatever the hell they want. And poor, poor Skinner just wants to save their jobs. Because he is, basically a good person, who winds up in shitty, terrible situations, because he somehow wound up in charge of these two lunatics.

Oh! And Mulder and Scully spend a large chunk of the movie’s run time saying that they love each other. And they almost kiss once, but then Scully gets stung by a bee, that gives her the virus.

I actually made my brother laugh because he was watching with me, and as they were moving to kiss each other, I said, “Yayyyy!!!!” And then the bee stung her and I said, “NO! STUPID X-FILES!” Apparently this reaction is hilarious.

Fun bonus points! Blythe Danner and Martin Landau are in the movie. They’re both pretty great. This movie is just, you know, not great.

And from what I understand (Kumail Nanjiani talking about it on The X-Files Files, general consensus, my father.) the show gets crappy from here on out too. I’ve watched a couple of episodes of Season 6. They’re pretty good, but to be fair, “clean up from the movie,” and “guest starring Bryan Cranston” are pretty hard to screw up.

See you all when I get through Season 6!



I’ve started listening to The X-Files Files podcast! For two reasons, I don’t have a lot of people to talk about the show with, as it’s 20 years old. But, this was I can vicariously have discussions about it, and The Indoor Kids is on hiatus, and Silicon Valley and The Meltdown are also both not in season, and I was missing Kumail. I’m loving the show and am already about halfway through his season 2 coverage. I may do a little check in on the show when I write up these last four seasons. Either way, it’s going to extend my X-Files obsession for, as long as Kumail is talking about it.

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