Straight Line, Don’t Look Back

Terminator Genisys

I’m having trouble getting this review started.

I don’t know how to describe Terminator: Genisys. I don’t know if I liked Terminator: Genisys, like as a movie.

It’s a narrative mess, but most of the messiness arises from time travel shenanigans. And you know how I love any and all manner of time travel shenanigans.

The action is absurdly good. The catch phrases are there. Emilia Clarke can break your heart just by filling her big eyes up with tears but never crying. (But this, we have known for years.) Jason Clarke has a creepiness level I that cannot even begin to describe. Arnold Schwarzenegger is an unstoppable juggernaut as always. Jai Courtney is an adorable empty vessel, exactly as Kyle Reese should be.

JK Simmons is a cop who saw everything, all grown up…and everyone thinks he’s a nutbag. And gets the best line. Which shouldn’t surprise you because he’s JK Simmons.

Oh, and Matt Smith is the face of Skynet…or like actually Skynet? I’m pretty sure that he’s just The Doctor, like, realizing that Judgement Day is a fixed point in time, and thus making sure that it happens.

Also Emilia Clarke + Naked + Fire (Or lightning or whatever) = STOP THE APOCALYPSE. She is after all, The Prince That Was Promised.

I really didn’t understand enough of this movie. I had fun though. And a lot of it.

So many big explosions though. And catchphrases. And cosplaying Sarah Connor is totally a thing that I’m going to do now. (So easy, so distinct, so comfy and badass!)

And also, it’s probably better if you think about it as “The Doctor and Khaleesi do battle, and also there are robots.” Just, I think that’s how I’m going to think of it.


  1. Mad Max: Fury Road
  2. Inside Out
  3. Tomorrowland
  4. Jurassic World
  5. Avengers: Age of Ultron
  6. Terminator: Genisys
  7. Entourage
  8. Pitch Perfect: 2


The Scorch Trials looks interesting. I should probably read The Maze Runner books, and see the first movie…that seems like a lot of work. But that kid knows right off the bat to not trust Littlefinger, which makes him smarted than like 90% of the Stark family.

Paranormal Activity: The New One: THEY SHOULD NOT SHOW REALLY SCARY HORROR MOVIE TRAILERS BEFORE NON HORROR MOVIES. Some of us are now going to have nightmares, because we did not want to think about ghosts or whatever, we just wanted to see time traveling robots and explosions, and that’s just not cool.

Mockingjay Part II: OMG we get it, you’re awesome. Moving on.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. I really, really can’t wait for this movie. It looks like so much fun. And so much Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer in suits.

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation looks really, really good. I should probably rewatch those movies.

Ant-Man, we’re so close to not having to pretend to care about Ant-Man anymore you guys!

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