MY FANDOMS ARE TOUCHING (And I’m afraid it might be Icky)

So, it was widely reported this week that Matt Smith will be playing Patrick Bateman in the musical version of American Psycho. Theatre people have been talking about American Psycho for a while. I think I heard about it the first time back in high school.

The music will be written by Duncan Sheik, who you probably know from his super 90’s song “Barely Breathing,” and who theatre people know for writing Spring Awakening, which gave the world Lea Michele. So, thanks Duncan.

Anyway, while I was hoping that one Jeremy Jordan would play Bateman, for reasons of hilarity and CSD (Jordan played Jack Kelly in the broadway version of Newsies, thus he will be the stage version of Christian Bale in my head forever), I’m actually intrigued with Smith as a choice, and fascinated by how the show is going to work at all.

Here’s why I’m not super psyched:

I don’t want to (if and probably when the show moves from London to New York, with Smith), save for a weeks, buy a ticket, wait for weeks, put on a dress, go to the theater and spend the entire night being inundated with “ZOMG, he’s soooooo hot. I loved Doctor Who, but I don’t like it now with that old guy.”

I’m afraid that now, this show I’ve waited years for will be completely ruined by the wrong kind of fangirls, which is terribly unfeminist of me, but hear me out.

I’m not saying that fangirling doesn’t belong on Broadway, obviously, that’s not what I think, at all. but I don’t want a bunch of stupid Whovian girls, who don’t know Sondheim from a hole in the wall, and who’ve probably never heard of Brett Easton Ellis, let alone read any of his books, coming in and ruining what could be a landmark theatrical moment.

You want to squee over Matt Smith chasing hookers with a chainsaw, do so. But do it with the right foundation.

I’m not saying that newbies shouldn’t experience theatre. I think everyone should try out musical theatre as entertainment, because whenever people say they don’t like musicals, I figure they probably just haven’t seen the right one yet. And if some squeeling fangirl comes to American Psycho for Matt Smith, and leaves having fallen for the art form I’ve loved since I was prenatal, that’s fantastic.

But just, be cool, and don’t ruin it for the rest of us, like The Potterheads and Gleeks did for How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. 

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