I have this tee-shirt, that I’d forgotten about until I wore it to the gym today. (I joined a gym…and I got a job. My life is turning around here folks.)
It’s one of those “Junk Food” brand tee shirts that you used to see all over the mall. (You may still see the all over the mall…I work in the mall now, but I don’t explore it that often.) It’s plain white, with a big blue Barbie profile and “Vote For Barbie” stamped on it in pink. Then the back says, “A Leader for Us All.”
Much like I hate the third wave feminist demonization of the so called “princess complex,” I’m also all about taking back Barbie. Look, yes, her body proportions are crazy, but if we’ve decided that a doll is the reason that girls have low self esteem, we’ve shifted the blame so far from where it belongs…
Anyway, I’ve always loved this shirt because when you think about it Barbie would be an excellent President. She’s had so many careers. She’s been a flight attendant, and then a pilot. She’s been a vet, and a regular doctor. She’s been a successful business woman, I mean, I assume, at least she owns several blue suits. She has proved to be a responsible guardian to her younger sisters, Skipper, Kelly, and the other one who’s name I can’t remember, and has maintained a relationship with the same man for over sixty years.
She also has a great deal of leadership experience, due to her tenure as a princess. She understands how the environment works because she was once a mermaid. And she could deal with the country’s obesity issues by teaching an aerobics class! We know she is deeply disciplined, because one does not become a Prima Ballerina without working really hard and being super dedicated.
Anyway, the point is, if Barbie were a real person, not only would she be too tall, with too small a waist and giant boobs. But she’d also be a hell of a political candidate.
So that’s why this election year, when I make jokes about who I’m voting for, I’m voting for Barbie.
A Leader for Us All!